The story until now…

Right, bearing in mind I’ve only just started doing this, I’ll do a brief recap of what’s going on….. in case you’ve been living in a place where news travels slowly, like up North for example, you will notice that we have a new manager, he is the ex-Norway and Valarenga manager Egil “Drillo” Olsen, and the man is a deity. Why? Because he says how much he loves us etc etc, and the fact that he got Norway to the World Cup in 1994 and 1998 using our style of tactics. Of course, he’s going to get slaughtered by the press for bringing back “primitive” tactics back to the hypefest called the Premiership, but then he’s probably not glamourous enough for them. Tossers

Robbie Earle has got an MBE, for services to charity, the Football Taskforce, his family, his parents, the Jamacian population and the whole black community. Oh and WFC as well. Surprising, no doubt, and some may even wonder why he’s got one, but if Alex Ferguson can get a knighthood, and Tony Adams can get one for being an ex-pisshead, surely the clean living Earle of Robert can get something. Whatever the reasons, nice going Robbie.

Chris Perry, former West Bank stalwart and shortarse Wimbledon defender is wanted by a bunch of cunts with a giant cock as their mascot, commonly known as Tottenham Hospice, or Spurz. Anyway, they want somebody up with R. Sol Campbell, and so they have offered £5.5m for Perry’s services.

Now, I have two schools of thought on this: the first is Perry shouldn’t go, because he’s a true Womble, one of us etc etc, and to join a club that is the total anthesis of WFC is nothing short of sacriledge, and the second is that he definitely ain’t worth £5.5m, he was a little crap last year and we can easily get some Norge defenders out of that. My money’s on the latter, because CP has said that “the only medals I’ve got are from my Sunday League days and I want to win trophies and get an England place”. So why go to N17 then? More likely the money…still, let’s hope if he signs he manages to score loads of own goals for them.

And finally, we’ve got a new shirt sponsor. Tiny Computers. Yes, Tiny Computers. As in total shite company with wank support and wank quality. Guess they’ve decided that WFC would be the ideal club for them then. Of course, the name is bound to work against us. No doubt there will be some “funny” comment that it refers to the size of the crowd, or that the thought of John Hartson wearing one will be mirth-inducing. Likewise, I’m sure people will refuse to buy one because it may be a reference to the size of ones genetalia. Personally, I think it refers to the collective brain power of Wimbledon FC Marketing department.