Pre Wycombe thoughts

The biggest match of the season? Perhaps.

If March is known for its Ides, then April is known as the month where shit finally happens. Promotions are guaranteed, relegations are confirmed.

And mid-table mediocrity is finally cemented for another year for everyone else.

As it stands, on All Fools Day 2016, we are a game away from doing one of two of those – hell, even I wouldn’t suggest we could get relegated from here.

For us to have any chance of prolonging our season beyond Newport, we really have to win tomorrow. A draw may sort-of keep us within the playoff race, but only “sort-of”.

We’ve been “sort-of” lucky with results elsewhere this week, although Carlisle used their game in hand wisely by beating Brizzle Rovers.

I think it’s fair to say that should we leave Adams Park at 5pm tomorrow with another defeat to our name, any non-mathematical ideas of the playoffs can finally get put to bed.

NA isn’t thinking about losing, though I don’t think we were as good against Hartlepool as he claims we were. And one has to wonder if fading badly from the playoffs (which is what it will be) may have implications for him.

We have Robbo back though, although it seems like there’s some dithering over which strikers to play. TBH, if it’s not Elliott and Taylor, then you could be forgiven for turning round and coming back home.

It’s a bit unfair to scapegoat Murphy, who isn’t a bad striker at all, but breaking up a proven partnership without good reason feels a little bit dogmatic.

No doubt we’ll win 4-0 tomorrow now, with our loanee netting a hat-trick.

What is apparent is how low expectations are right now. Yes, we might win tomorrow, but mentally many are planning their holidays already.

This was a lousy March, on and off the field, and it does feel like we’re waiting for that one definitive set of results to concentrate on what’s ahead in the summer.

(and on this note… I can’t find the link on the local Guardian website, but it seems that LBW have said that they want to have their say about stuff like infrastructure etc – in other words, things that already got dealt with in the consultations anyway. IMO we should focus on that rather than mope about LBM’s unaminous decision. It’s easy to get distracted on that).

We’ve got seven games ahead of us this month, now that Pompey is rearranged, and while it’s a great time to hit form again – it will be the worst time of the lot to stutter like we have been.

In truth, we can’t predict what will happen tomorrow. We’ll probably play a lot better than we have in recent weeks, though our lack of firepower is a major weakness right now.

How we deal with Wycombe’s, ahem, “gamesmanship” remains to be seen. It works very well for them, and it’s up to us to counter that.

Whatever happens in Buckinghamshire tomorrow, you will all have a better Saturday than your editor will have.

Yep – I’ve been lumbered with Fulham v Franchise. And barring a last minute change, I can’t get out of it.

Fortunately, it’s at Craven Cottage and not their place, and I have the small comfort that I’m getting paid for it. But it is going to be surreal, and that’s putting it mildly.

This will be the first time I have ever had to cover them, and hopefully the last. Like the first time we ever played at the Frenzydome, it probably won’t be as (relatively) bad in real life to deal with.

But you can understand how shit it will be if they win 5-0 and we lose.

At least I’m there tomorrow under duress, which makes it even harder to believe when you get the odd individual who goes to one of their games when they’re in London.

Yes,  I know it’s always to support the opposition, and I understand the getting-it-out-of-your-system bit of it. But, really?

So we’d better fucking beat Wycombe tomorrow, as when I do the writeups on Sunday morning before I’m off to the JPT final (again, paid) I don’t want to have to do with the gloating from Buckinghamshire…

That particular bit would make a good segment in an AFCW-related movie. And lo and behold – that’s what’s going to happen.

No, it’s not an April Fool gag either.

It’s obviously a John Green idea, as he’s somebody who can use his Tinseltown clout. It’ll probably be one of those “true life” dramatisations, where it’s accurate enough while being rewritten to dramatic effect.

You can have minutes of fun guessing which actors will play which characters, not just those directly related to AFCW. How will we cast those who have tried to fuck the club up?

And will Operation Yewtree prevent us from getting the right individual in?

There’s obviously going to be some holes that people will pick, a few egos boosted (and pricked) due to various portrayals, or lack of them.

But as far as publicity goes, it’s a good way of explaining the whole AFCW “thing” to an otherwise disengaged audience. Our backstory is a good one regardless of individual details, and it’s a bit surprising it hasn’t been earmarked before now.

One thing though, given Hollywood’s penchant for dramatic effect – who will be the main protagonists in the inevitable sex scene…?

6 thoughts to “Pre Wycombe thoughts”

  1. Did someone in the press jokingly mention Bill Nighy as Eric Samuelson? Not half bad casting there. Shame Christopher Lee’s not with us any more. Saruman Hammam would have worked nicely.

  2. They should have done this earlier, we could have got Bob Hoskins as Ivor Heller, but he is dead now… RIP.

  3. Oh hold on we have Danny DeVito he can play Ivor, although he is too italian american to have Ivor’s south London manner.

  4. Warwick Davis is an absolute shoe in for Ivor. Some good suggestions for Erik.
    Going to have to find some proper smug bastards for the rest :-))

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