It’s Going Home

At least we don’t have to hear that song for a good while again.

So, the Ingerlund train of hubris is halted, and we’re back to proper football. The swing of pre-season is in full effect, and I expect very few will watch that third place playoff instead of QPR tomorrow.

What’s the point of that fixture anyway? Nobody wants to be there, and you don’t get a bronze medal a la the Olympics. Even a PSF against a non-league XI has a more of a reason behind it.

Speaking of which, your editor was at Woking on Tuesday, and it was all quite comfortable, really. 3-0 up by half time, albeit against a side in the Conference South, and it was good to see the attacking mindset still there.

The second half was practically all kids, and they did OK enough, though I don’t know how many of them would be knocking on the door for the first XI this upcoming campaign.

Not that many AFCW fans there though, the crowd was less than 700 as it was (and does anyone know what Reading was last Saturday?), although maybe that’s not a surprise.

It’s still summer, it was a nice evening. PSFs are what they are, and although Woking is near – we’ve all been there before. Couple that with France v Belgium and that little thing called “real life”, and there’s your answer.

I would guess that there’ll be a few more people tomorrow than last week, the beer festival will be an attraction. Not sure about this “Women At The Game” initiative being held at the same time though, it might put them off for life.

And the females as well.

It became apparent after Reading that we needed to add more squad members this week. And that’s exactly what we’ve done. Our bean counters must be in a dark room, sobbing at the amount of times our cheque book has been out.

So, welcome to AFCW Tennai Watson. And Scott Wagstaff. And Anthony Wordsworth. A right back, a midfielder, and an attacking midfielder respectively.

I think Tennai came on in the second half at Kingfield, and it seems that he’s going to be duking it out with Sibbick. Interesting in itself, because a yoof teamer is going to be given more of a role this campaign.

And with the Academy getting Category 3 status this week (but being marked down for not enough of them reaching the first team, albeit with mitigating circumstances), that side of things needs to start paying dividends.

Wagstaff is unusual insofar as he’s a signing I’ve heard of. Wordsworth gets to wander in the midfield where he’ll be going forward. Speaking of attacking, he’s got a conviction for doing just that against a copper.

Both unfortunately sound injury prone, and while economics dictate etc etc etc, I still think going down that path ends up a false economy. I presume they’re not on a pay-as-you-play deal.

More disturbingly, both also have hipster beards. We must get a Gilette Fusion on them pronto, otherwise the dressing room will reek of beard oil instead of Deep Heat.

Before you know it, the pre-match meal will be served on wooden boards, the kit will come in manbags, and the pre-match music will be Radiohead. Assuming that’s not too passe, and the current music of choice is Paraguayan indie.

Christ, we had enough trouble with pre-match preparation last season without the potential for this.

No, there has to be a backlash against beards, especially in AFCW colours. Only lumberjacks in northern Canada and members of ZZ Top should be allowed to have anything longer than stubble.

Anyone else must be outed as a vagrant who stinks of Special Brew and clothes that haven’t been washed since 1982. Or Guardian readers from the 1980s. And let’s not get into what lurks in the facial hair of those at tomorrow’s beer festival…

I don’t expect us to sign anyone else this week now, though hopefully if they do they’re sans barbe. I forget where we are in terms of positions still needed (two centre backs, isn’t it?), but we’ll likely need the same amount in again next week.

We’ve also got no PSFs during the week, so presumably there’s some sort of training camp or “team bonding” stuff.

One final, inconsequential observation : we’re not facing any League Two sides this time round, though Luton and Wycombe getting promoted might have something to do with that. Guess we’re not exactly friendly enough with Crawley, and St Evenage wasn’t in the equation.

Maybe we could offer to play Franchise at their retail park? Might be the only time they’ll see a crowd…