Well, maybe.
We could have gone through all the playing surface related puns for this one. Pain in the Grass, Sod’s Law, Grassholes, Flashing Blade, Turf Wars.
As our return to Plough Lane saw Gro-Sure 4 Horse Manure 0, it was a good way to round this surreal period off.
No, it wasn’t the most spectacular four-goal gubbing you’ll ever see. But we were solid, never looked in danger and it’s difficult to fault most of today.
OK, I would have liked us to have scored more, and Goodman flapped. That’s just being picky.
Matty Stevens certainly had a good game, and I’m trying to think the last player who scored a hat-trick for us. He certainly deserved MOTM.
It’s best described as an all-round team performance though. Yes, you have to beat what’s in front of you but we’ve lost games like this before.
That was not really likely to happen when we went ahead after seven minutes, even if the ball did seem to go into the net in slow motion.
Carlisle had the ball a bit more than I’d like, but they were not really hurting us. And when our second did come, it wasn’t a massive surprise.
The game really was dead by then, and it was given a funeral and cards of sympathy by the time half time arrived and we’d added a third.
We netted a fourth, and dreams that the vidiprinter would start showing “Wimbledon 7 (seven)” but the team had other ideas.
To be fair, that’s a lesson in how to properly kill a game off. Being professional, I think they call it.
Nobody was exactly busting a gut, trying to get injured, and it wasn’t like we were being bombarded by a late Carlisle onslaught.
It’s just a shame that we couldn’t have boosted our goal difference some more. Go full blown CCL style.
Then again, we didn’t really need to.
I suppose JJ’s thinking was that we’ve got a lot of games coming up, so if there’s no need to go full pelt then don’t.
The performance after 4-0 might have been half-an-eye on that. Notts County and Morecambe upcoming won’t nearly be as easy.
But it’s a weekend – and week – to enjoy. We needed to find the net again and we did just that.
And we did it without Lewis and Reeves too. We’ve struggled before when those two have been missing, so a four-goal stuffing without them becomes even more impressive.
As said earlier, this wasn’t a classic win by this margin, which may explain the not-getting-carried-away tone of this piece.
There was plenty to be pleased about, but I do suspect we’ll play better and not win this campaign.
Plenty drinking in the bars before and afterwards, which is just as well. After all we have to fund the bonuses for a clean sheet and a hat-trick somehow.
Anyway…
Plus points: We won, Four games. Stevens’ hat-trick. Another clean sheet. Doing it without two first-choice players. Looking comfortable throughout.
Minus points: Should have scored more.
The referee’s a…: Which one?
The one who started the game wasn’t too bad, but then he managed to get himself injured and so one of the linesmen had to come on. Where he was a little bit, well…
Put it this way, when the crowd chant you’re a linesman, it’s not complimentary.
Them: Shit, basically.
Plenty after the game have been saying that Carlisle were the worst team we’ve played in many a year, and they might be right.
I don’t think they hurt us at all, and they were so bad they couldn’t even do anything about a Goodman clanger.
They’re the strongest side in the EFL right now (well, they are propping up everyone else) and you can see exactly why.
It’s too early to call any team relegation fodder, but Carlisle might be close to that.
Impressive turnout from them, to their credit, especially considering how utter wank their team was. And they mostly stayed to the end, unless we locked them in and forced them to drink our left over alcohol.
I’m sure a couple of them were looking for some taps to open so they could re-flood the pitch.
A special mention to their manager, who of course managed Franchise to their glorious 3-0 arsewhipping in the last game we played at Plough Lane.
I’m sure he enjoyed the reminder of that, that his job security may be in question tomorrow, and indeed it was happening again.
Either he absolutely hates us, or he’s on our payroll…
Point to ponder: Is it true a certain Irish bookmaker known for its shy and retiring ad campaigns has made us promotion favourites?
Just as it’s too early to condemn anyone to the drop, it’s only October and it’s a bit premature to be getting out the maps for League One grounds next season.
While I think we don’t score enough goals (which is ironic considering today’s scoreline) we look as solid as we have done for a long, long while.
It doesn’t seem a particularly great division this season, and we have as much claim for a promotion spot as anyone else.
And teams up the top win games like these by 4-0.
We’re capable of the playoffs, perhaps even higher, and that’s our aim for this campaign. And a few more results like today won’t hurt.
Truth is stranger than fiction: 1) The pitch looked OK. Even with the downpour at kickoff. 2) It remains difficult to get a humble cup of tea behind the south stand. 3) Plenty of kids, foreign tourists and for some reason a few coppers. Were they bored? 4) Ice cream van behind south stand. Amazingly was doing some sales as well.
Anything else? It was nice to get back to normal again, with fixtures on our own turf (in both senses of the word).
Looking around, there wasn’t much obvious water damage so the cleaning up did its job.
Most importantly, the patch of grass that caused all the trouble barely registered after a while, and that’s a good thing.
While some may have thought we could have been noisier (which can be challenging in a game so one-sided) we very quickly settled down as though we’d never been away after all.
One has to wonder, how different would today have been if it was at Loftus Road or wherever?
We would have put up with it, treated it for what it was, and perhaps even put in the same scoreline.
But the club was clearly determined to be back this weekend, and plenty within AFCW can be very pleased with the way they’ve dealt with the recent horror show.
If there’s a phrase to describe the last three weeks, it might be all’s well that end’s well.
It’s been said on SW19 recently, that this whole thing could have been a helluva lot more damaging, and it’s only this evening when you realise just how much we’ve got away with after all.
Normality will return quite quickly, a bit like what happens when you get a major pandemic – people just want to move on, or back to how things were.
Today we did that, and it may prove the adage that sometimes, the biggest achievement of all is normality.
So, was it worth it? Absolutely.
In a nutshell: The grass really was greener after all.