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Andy Roberts was here


Honestly, I don’t know. Thirteen Men 2 Nine Men 1 had practically everything – drama, excitement, excrement and good old fashioned hatred. Drama – almost pulling a 2 goal deficit back with only 9 men. Excitement – the manner in which we did so. Excrement – the very manner in which we found ourselves short in both goal and player counts. Hatred – David “I want to play for a big club” Nielsen and the guy who’s decision it was to let him go in such a manner (give you a clue : he looks like a shaven vagina and acts like one as well). Oh, and the referee as well. Git.

The game? Well, actually I couldn’t see most of it as I spent most of it either trying to see or in a red mist, so you’ll have to ask others for more specifics 🙂 Basically, it looked like we had a great deal of the play, but Naarwich scored through – aye, you guessed it – following a bit of shitty defending. We kind of got back into it, but in the second half a run through unchallenged from – aye, you guessed it – followed by a somewhat Nico Clasen-esque dive in the box. Penalty, and very rapidly rising blood pressures from the ensembled Womble massive. Obviously it affected Kelvin as well, who decided to throw the ball at – aye, you guessed it – and got to use the communal Palmolive as a special Xmas treat. Should have just kicked him, Kelvin. Feuer came on, we went 2-0 down but we got going again and in truth bossed it for the remainder. However, KD had competition for the Palmolive when a rather light looking off-the-ball incident saw Darlo get the red one as well. Ever spit blood at a game? Even so, we got a penalty which DC converted and we really went pressing old-stylee. Alas, it was not to be….

Anyway, the bits you’ve been waiting for:

Plus points: The first time I’ve heard “We’re Proud Of You” for ages. Sums it up more than anything I could say.

Minus points: Shit defending for the first goal. The very fact that we practically lost this game before we started.

The referee’s a ………….. : guy who undoubtedly was bribed by Koppout to cost the game for us. Be honest, can you find any other reason for that performance yesterday? No doubt Koppout wanted to play Mummies and Daddies afterwards.

Old news to most of you, but: I heard THAT Charlie Koppout song for the first time in the way it was meant to be sung. Love it. Probably had even more relevance yesterday than FU Day

Inbred: Naarwich fans. I’m not joking, they seriously are. Quiet as fuck as well.

Steward/CCTV Watch: Eyeing up practically everyone, few got (ahem) “spoken to”. Certain people were being spied upon by the CCTV for quite long periods of time. Too long periods of time for my liking. Hmm.

Quotes: (1) “I’m going for a wee-wee” – Drunken One, who’s birth certificate does NOT state he is 10 years old. (2) “We’re proud of you” – mass ranked Womble ensemble. Brings a tear to my eye. No, really. (3) Anything that was left on Charles Koppout’s answerphone message, the content and orator of such messages I am not privvy to whatsoever. (4) “He’s a cunt” – alleged comment by a Wimbledon player on Koppout…….

Speaking of increasingly deranged and just as stupid yarpie lawyers: So then Charlie, you’re now breaking the record for how many people can you fuck off at one club, beating Robert Maxwell? Well done. You clearly have pissed off TB for flogging David Nielsen behind his back. You probably did exactly the same to Nielsen which made him do his prickish comments.

From the quote above, which I shouldn’t really publish and I can’t really verify, you’ve now alienated at least some of the playing staff. Probably all of them. So, do you like being unpopular? Do you enjoy masochism? Do you get a perverted pleasure out of tying your own bollocks with piano wire? (Don’t answer that last one, I think it may explain that abnormal grin you have).

Quite frankly, I’ve gone beyond hating you. I just find you too pathetic a little man for me to waste valuable hatred on you. I want you out of this club, along with everyone else who cares, but you just haven’t got the guts to go have you? No, like everything else you’ve ever done, when it comes to showing your nerve, we just see a yellow streak. Still, I’ll just sit back this Xmas and realise that there is somebody with less friends in the world than Osama Bin Laden.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The very thought of Nielsen scoring against us is strange, especially considering the circumstances. (2) Very quiet (relatively speaking) journey to/from Naarwich. Xmas office party hangovers? (3) The rich, posh, middle class bourgeous bastards at WISA who so openly betrayed their men-of-the-people stance by travelling by limo to Naarwich. At least we now know where the £15k went towards* (4) A train journey made in the UK which actually got me to/from my destination on time without hassle.

* – serious legal note: I am being tongue in cheek just in case somebody thinks I’m accusing WISA of being hypocrites and/or doing naughty things with membership fees. I know how these things can be taken the wrong way, and I know that WISA have far more important things ATM than defend themselves against such allegations. So don’t go complaining, especially when at least 3 of those in the limos are known SW19 readers and know exactly what this site is about (I hope)

Anything else? Yeah, finding out that Ipswich beat Spurz was doubly funny. Especially when it’s still within the confines of Carrow Road

So, was it worth it? If the corner is being turned, yes.

In a nutshell: Die, Koppout. Just die.