You will be pleased to know that normal service HAS been resumed now. So you can switch over. Anyway, on a drizzly and bloody cold day in deepest darkest Surrey, we were treated to Casuals 0 Formal Wear 5 in a repeat of the whateverbloodycupitwas game earlier this season. Except we won this time of course without having to resort to heart-attack inducing methods. We actually played very well, certainly we should have got more but once again, the oppo goalie kept the score down to single figures. Bastards, why can’t we ever get a nice 9-0 or 10-0 scoreline like other top teams in this division? I blame Koppel.
Now, there was no point asking me what the first goal was like as I missed it. Bloody typical. Most of the goals were – from memory – a bit scrappy, except for the penalty we got. Which was admittedly very well struck. The pitch was lousy but we certainly knew how to use the wings apparently….
Enough of that bollocks, here’s the good stuff:
Plus points: We won. Away. Without conceeding a goal. Cooper deserved his hat-trick and the match ball. All round play was excellent. Petty could be a good prospect (hey, I recognised one of our players…)
Minus points: That weather sucked.
The referee’s a ………. : Pretty decent as it goes. True, he sent off two Casuals players and was called a “disgrace” by the Walton manager, but hey, who cares about that? I don’t..
Them: Very gracious hosts as usual. Beer tent went down very well, reportedly, even though they were selling Guinness for £2. Not quite so bad in itself, but the cans they were pouring from had a much lower promotional price on them. Doh. Casuals team BTW are reportedly in disarray, they lost their manager and given the way they tried to kick us after going 3-0 down they ain’t going anywhere upwards soon
Carol singing, AFCW style: Goalie reportedly got a bit of stick, though this time I think he learnt how to handle it. And apparently did quite well with us behind him. Got “You’re supposed to be at home” and the CS made a welcome return (I don’t care how many people think it’s bollocks at this level, it’s supposed to be ironic). And the old seasonal favourite “Jingle Bells” livened up the yuletide experience for one and all. Overall, we aren’t as noisy as we were when we were still a professional outfit IMO but at least the circumstances these days are a lot less antagonistic.
Point to ponder: Do you think that by giving the first Golden Goal scorer as the Walton #8 (who put it into his own net), Casuals were saving money on the matchballs by stopping KC getting his hat-trick?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Playing 51 minutes in the first half. (2) Playing 51 minutes in the second half. (3) Why on earth was there a Premier League/Dorna circa 1996 advertising hoarding at the ground? Are Dorna that desperate for trade these days? (4) Mud. Plenty of it. Especially on my shoes and jeans. Ah, non-league football, can’t beat it eh?
Franchise FC watch: It gets worse for them – only 1697 morons (I don’t include Stoke fans in the “moron” category) turned up to watch them draw 1-1 with a last minute goal from the Pottery people. Coincidentally, if Stoke’s firm is called the Naughty Fourty, I wonder what Franchise’s equivalent is called? Or do they just have a sole trader as opposed to a firm?
Meanwhile, I should really extend Xmas cheer to Franchise FC. But I won’t, and I hope they go bust and Koppout, the Fat Nazi and that senile incontinent old cunt Judas Davis lose all their money. Well, I might as well be honest.
Plug: I’ve been asked to put a link to http://www.sw19snowballs.co.uk which is highly addictive and recommended (even if it doesn’t have enough gore in it). However, the author reckons I’m “uncompromising” enough not to put it up, so I won’t 🙂
Hello mum: Dare I mention the female womble who goes very red very quickly whenever a certain male is mentioned (not me BTW)? Works every time…
Anything else? Not really. Walton’s a nice place though.
So, was it worth it? Yes, I would say so.
In a nutshell: As long as we keep winning, we’ll do OK
Finally, as you all know, it is the big Merton derby on Boxing Day. Yup, the Vile are coming to pollute our game and really, I don’t think we need much more motivation for it. If there are any flaggers, let me rally you : Raynes Park Vile are the annoying little brother of Merton football. They mocked us when they were above us in the CCL earlier this season, and we must never ever forget that humiliation. We are fighting for pride, for truth, for decency and all that is just and proper. Victory must be ours on Boxing Day. It is a battle between the bastion of all that is right and the scum whose ground is owned by Koppout. Bring your family members. Bring your next door neighbour. Bring your spouse. Bring your paper boy (I don’t care if he supports Celsi). Bring the person who you shagged on the photocopier at your Xmas party this week. Bring your household pets (not dogs though, I’m allergic to them). Hell, bring yourself if you have to. But make sure they are there to destroy the Vile and all the evil they stand for. Claim victory and the Football Gods will decree that ourselves and ourselves alone are to be the one true football club of Merton (conveniently forgetting that T&M are in a higher division than us). Be there.