Skip to content

Western Union


So, what was the main talking point of Western Front 0 Somme 4? The march towards, er, second? The goals? High drama? Nope on all three accounts. The main talking point was Woking’s main stand, as displayed to your right. A beautiful structure based on contemporary mid-90s steel and plastic, with a viewing platform as steep as Everest, it was advisable not to learn forward at any time lest an individual toppled and fell. It was like old times, and indeed was treated as old times. Good view, though with all modern and sanitised stadia it had modern and sanitised attitudes to boot. And the rest of their ground looked a bit non-league as well. Never mind, at least it had “WFC” on the seats.

As for the game itself, to be honest it was a bit embarrasingly one-sided. They seemed to have as many holes in their defence as the Republican Guard and had as much control as they do. Amazingly, it was only 1-0 at half time, this a corner by goal scoring maestro and all round poser Coops, who naturally scored with his feet. Second half Westfield realised their place and more or less capitulated. I managed to miss two of the goals due to me not paying attention as usual, so you’ll have to fill in the gaps yourself. If you weren’t there, just imagine a couple of 30 yarders.

Rest of it?

Plus points: We won. Away. Again. Without conceding a goal. Professional performance. All round good play. Defence looked solid for once. Could have scored a couple more.

Minus points: Were there any?

The referee’s a …….. : Actually, I didn’t notice him at all, which is a very good sign. Christ, what are things coming to when I can’t even find fault with the ref? Oh yeah, his linesman was a bit slow in putting up his flag.

Them: Do they have some sort of tie-up with Woking FC? Reportedly wearing the Conference side’s old kit. Nice club bar, all round pretty pleasant people. Their #3 did a fantastic bit of petulance after conceding a corner, which got him booked. He really didn’t have a good game at all – shame, though he can boast to his mates at work that he’s now played AFCW.

Everyone’s a wally: They lost 3-0 to Walton Casuals, and we are now one single point behind them. Please do not laugh. Sadly, W2K won as well.

Sing for your supper: Oh boy, there were some good ones today. Remember the stand as mentioned above? Well, when were you ever going to hear “Stand up if you love the Dons” again? But it really did happen, and it felt like old times. Minus the £18 entrance fee of course. Christ, I’m sure I heard a “Sit down, shut up” harmony as well. Second half, things really did get going : plenty of anti-Celsi, with a couple of CS variants thrown in for good measure. Look, I like that song, and plenty others do, OK? Then it really did get a bit Crewe away 2001/02 – nope, no Motorhead from yours truely but there was “Close To You” sung with enough gusto and passion to bring a tear to the eye. Either that or it was so sung so bloody awfully that it could have made anyone cry. Another song ready to tug at your heartstrings was the “He loves his hair” Jerusalem version sung about Mr K Cooper. Personally, I think his hair looks greasy. The somewhat dangerous “We are going up” was aired, watch us finish third now 🙁 Special mention goes to our good friend, their #3, who was treated to a kind “Number three, wank wank wank” complete with carefully choreographed wrist movements. It’s the way we sing em…

Point to ponder: Have to admit that I never thought I would ever say this, given past SW19 comments, but I really do think that terracing is better than seating. Why? Well, something didn’t feel right sitting down in that stand. Sure, there was plenty of humour about it, but really, it’s not really right is it? Hell, I’m certain the person sitting next to me told me to sit down and shut up, it’ll never happen..

Woking watch: Yes, Woking watch is back for this special one off. Our favourite non-vodka drinking pilar of sobriety and high moral standards reportedly failed to find the correct public house with the rest of his drinking buddies – not so unusual except that Woking was in his home town. Woking and said drinking chums (hello sirs) were also asked to leave the big stand for standing up, and a slight discussion with a suited-and-blazered jobsworth safety officer meant the whole Woking posse had to leave. First division structures with first division attitudes, plus ca change. We have no idea what happened to Woking afterwards, though we are pretty certain that it would have been clean living and wholesome.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Me being asked if I was actually concentrating on the game for once. The answer is in the narrative above 🙂 (2) Did I see Kevin Cooper actually HEAD the ball? Apparently, it happened really subtly and most people missed it, as it was in one of the corners. We are awaiting video confirmation. (3) Overhearing Kris Stewart saying “I’m so out of touch”. At last, a football chairman admits the truth…. (4) There was a deffo feeling of one of the pre-season friendlies for this game. Minus the result, of course. (5) Coming back on the A3 (in association with FW Paine), about one in three cars overtaken by the SW19mobile had some sort of AFCW merchandise on it. It really did have a feel of the old late 80s about it, best described as a “bond”. And it is, it feels good. Which of course can’t be said for….

Franchise FC watch: Lost 2-0 to Derby. Guffaw. In front of less than 2000. Chortle. Which means their playoff hopes are as good as dead. Bwahaha. There was a meeting held in the phonebooth outside the SP Total garage for all their fans and Koppout today. I don’t doubt that finding out what this meeting is about will be as difficult as finding out where the Iraqi Information Minister is holed up but wouldn’t it be funny if Rent Boy swivelled in and told the 10 people there that their support was no longer required…

Also, appears that Koppout’s business partner and bum chum Fat Nazi Hauger is now Stateside….

Anything else? Yeah, was there REALLY only 1500 or so there? Felt a lot more to me.

So, was it worth it? Guess so.

In a nutshell: Watch out Wallies.