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South terminal

Yes, I’m back, jetlagged, tired (you wouldn’t believe how close I am to falling asleep again – and I woke up at 3pm this afternoon), and believe it or not I have a quick report on Horley below. Anyone who complains about it being late can suck my dick. Few things first : one, thanks to everyone who filled in for me. Second, expect an article in the next day or two. Thirdly, various things need updating, you know what they are.

Fourthly, and most importantly of all, although it’s been a week since the fallout of the DT AGM, I have to add my $0.02 : how the hell can an organisation with as many accountants in it as the defence counsel for Enron totally fuck up on the accounts not only for the DT but the club as well? I understand there was HUGE ructions over this, and I don’t blame anyone who may now feel they are being a little bit put off with the way the DT is operating. Of all people, we should know as much as anyone that being less than forthright with money is a recipe for disaster. Yes, this may be an accident, but accidents are habit forming if not checked, and we could hardly have got off on a more wrong foot. I shudder to think what damage will happen to goodwill if it’s repeated : remember that this isn’t sponsorship money, or transfer money. This is our money. Cast doubts in our minds about the way we run things and it’s curtains for the club. No bullshit. You can replace sponsorship dough, you can’t replace fans dough

Looks like we have a new(ish) DT board, and now there is no excuse for sloppyness. I await to see what difference they make. If any.


All that aside, let’s get onto Gatwick 2 LAX 4 shall we? Oh go on, I flew in especially for this game, which was bloody cold. The frost was forming on the pitch, and inbetween wondering why I’d tried prostituting my body begging around so hard to get here (thanks to Flying Pig for the lift – extremely appreciated) when I should have been in bed, I was left wondering how we would cope trying to maintain such a run. I needn’t have worried, as we went 1-0 down to a complete fuck up in defence. Cue much cursing and swearing. We woke up and put some pressure on, before making it 1-1 via a good KC strike. Then a 30 yard screamer by our #7 – Seb wasn’t it? – to restore parity in our favour

We kept pressing – 3-1 thanks to Harvey drilling AK47 like through a crowd of players. Hey, wonder if those people who like to think they’re hard through listening to So Solid Crew would be interested in a trip to South Central LA? I can show them places in Watts, like the first restaurant built there in 30 years because they were so shit scared of building anything lest it got done, or the house I passed where only last Saturday 7 people got shot, three fatally….. Anyway, it was 3-1 at HT and normal service was resumed. As the fog and frost came down, so did Horley’s chances of coming back, as we netted a fourth by some guy called Clinton somebody. I assume he’s a new guy. Oh, and they pulled it back to 4-2 after we gave it to them. Never mind


Plus points: Still top. Still coming away winning.

Minus points: Our defence is shit

The referee’s a…… : Well, he did OK I suppose, even though he missed one of our players swing a punch. The lino looked like a cross between John Major aged 30 and Teach from the Bash Street Kids.

Them: Nice ground, nice and new, even if they did charge us £15 to use their bar. Saw some of our lot watching the whole game from there, looking like the corporate whore prawn sandwich brigade. I thought one of the pre-requisites of being an AFCW fan was to live in shit, mud and cold in true Workers Revolutionary style, and shun all executive like comforts which have alienated the common man from the peoples game, leaving it for people called Jeremy and Theresa? Obviously not. Wankers, one and all, and come the revolution they will all suffer the same fate as Saddam Hussein when the Iraqi people get their collective hands on him.

As for the Sussex team, there were quite a few of them, coming to see what the fuss about us was about. When they scored, there was – gasp – a bit of a cheer. Soon shut up though when our arses got into gear. Their fans sung – once – though their PA was doing intermittent fits involving rather loud burst of feedback and static.

One final thing, they charged £2 for the collection of adverts and out-of-date AFCW info. Until half time anyway, when they slashed the price to £1. See what happens when you try to be greedy?

Quote: “We’re doing OK” – your humble and esteemed editor after the game, commenting on us getting maximum points this season. No point being optimistic until we win the league…

Point to ponder: Do you think Feltham fans sing to Horley fans “You’ve only got one runway”?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The frost coming down on the pitch. Legitimately eery. (2) Womble coming in from Cyprus for this game, and looked far more healthier and with it than me. Bastard

Anything else? Dunno.

So, was it worth it? Yeah, guess so.

In a nutshell: Could have been worse….

Are you asleep? Sort of. Can’t you tell?