Skip to content


NOTE: I wrote most of this on the train between Barrow and Preston, and is therefore largely unedited. Although I have had no alcohol whatsoever…

Well, that was fun wasn’t it?

You can wait for the OS and the SLP for the match report with all the boring details like who scored and what actually happened during the game. But as I sit here on the Barrow to Preston train in pitch darkness (outside, not inside, thankfully) and reflect on Sellafield 2 Chernobyl 2, by fuck we got away with that.


When their second goal went in, it was a case of, how many would we let in? Three? Four? A consolation goal to make us feel better and claim a rather sad moral victory? You may want to describe it as a poor performance that owes as much to recent form as well as the post-Millwall comedown.

Alternatively, you may snort a lot and mutter “clunge” under your breath.

When Elliott Godfrey popped up, we did feel a little bit confident that maybe, just maybe, we’d get something. Not like we’d deserve it, of course. Then, when Main did actually level us up, we all went mad, threw our clothes off and prepared to run naked around those shipyards they have up there.


Well, it did get a little bit hairy towards the end again, although it does show that Seb Brown is stepping up to the plate, and it did feel like a more nervy last 20 minutes than the first 70. Although that could be down to that being so shit that it almost didn’t matter.

So, what? Well, it proves two things : we are appallingly slow starters. Again, we waste the first 10/20/30/40/60/80 minutes playing like complete dongs, then suddenly burst into life and play like we could not only beat our opponents but Man U, Real Madrid and RPV reserves. At the same time.

Question is, why? TB obviously has some motivating skills, but why does he have to use them for seemingly every single game now? I’m sure I asked this question some time ago and never got an answer. Maybe that’s why this lot of players are at AFCW instead of Arsenal or even Aldershot – good players but brain dead.

The second thing it proves, albeit out of necessity rather than choice, is our amazing ability to keep coming back. Constantly. Granted, we can’t keep doing it, but we do at least have that ability to do that. If we didn’t, we’d be fighting it out with Chester for the bottom spot.

Maybe that second point is directly related to the first? Maybe the “brain dead” comment isn’t so unfair after all? I don’t doubt we’re a good side, but not a great one. Today proved why….


Plus points: We drew. Away. Jon Main and Elliott Godfrey knowing where the net is. Seb Brown looking quite decent.

Minus points: Shit for first 70 minutes. Alan Inns going off. Paul Lorraine’s ability to score goals at the wrong end.

The referee’s a…: SW19 did a quick straw poll of his performance on the 1803 from Barrow. No dissenting voices about him. So he was cack…

Them: Could have won, should have won. They must be kicking themselves right now. Ex Franchise cunt Kamara seemed to give us grief, as did their #23. And to be fair, in the last five minutes they put our trousers into a shade of brown again. Friendly stewards, apparently.

As for the town? I’ve been to worse places to be honest, though it’s a bit of a bloody long way. Weird accent up there too – it’s a mix of Lancastrian, Geordie and Scottish. Still, like most of up North, the cost of beer is such that it’s almost affordable for your editor to buy a round…

Point to ponder: Ross Montague. Is he going to be the next scapegoat? People much prefer DK and he clearly doesn’t have that presence. DD doesn’t play enough for people to hate him, and the poor much maligned Sam Hatton isn’t so much maligned now.

Funny thing is, TB et al were scouting him for a good year or two. Is Montague’s known injury causing a mental block for him? Should we get that sports pyschologist in again? Or has Luis Cumber’s latest arrival made it a statement of intent by the management…?

Three’s a crowd: Haven’t got the exact figures to hand, but we took something like 337 today. Which isn’t bad, and is on a par with Oxford. But where were the other 3000 from Millwall? Probably all busy talking how good it was they were at the Den on Monday, no doubt…

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Some un-named individual trying to get me to drink Stella. At 10am. To his amazement, I resisted…. (2) The stag-do with them all in tights over their faces. Like Spiderman after a hangover. For their kids sakes, let’s hope all photos of them are destroyed soon afterwards. (3) The wind. And nice sky. Good sunset too, apparently. (4) Statue of Emlyn Hughes just outside the station. Of all the people to have as a local hero. Mind you, they have more than Morden. (5) A group of local urchins telling some of our fans to “get off our street” apparently. In Geordie accents too, reportedly…

Anything else? Yes. While I’m writing this about 10 minutes after leaving Grange-Over-Sands, it just reminds us all of how stupid making the Conf national. OK, this is a laugh, but how many of our 337 will go up next time? How many will Grays take to Holker Street on Tuesday week? Even Eastleigh in the FAC took about 50.

If you’re a Barrow fan, how shit must away journeys be each other week? Even the most local games must be at least an hour away, and playing Salisbury or Grays must outright suck for them.

Seriously, why are the poorest clubs made to do this travelling? We’re OK (enough) because we’re wealthy enough, but if the Conf wants to start answering why some clubs are permanently in shit they could start looking at these sort of fixtures today.

Then again, if regionalisation was to happen, that would mean Leagues One and Two would have to follow suit, meaning a big re-organisation, and would mean the Conf losing teams like Luton, Oxford, ourselves and the other “biggies”. Meaning lost power bases…… Just think of that next time you’re trying to book tickets to Wrexham and getting precious little change out of £40…

So, was it worth it? Yes, I got to see Grange-Over-Sands without having to get outside.

In a nutshell: Bet York City are going to love playing us next week…