There’s a joke about flushing things and blocked drains, but I’m not going to make it.
It’s been a strange week at AFC Wimbledon, it has to be said, and it’s happened without kicking a ball in anger.
When we head up to Toonside on Tuesday, I think I’ll be glad just to see us playing football again.
But in a period where everyone suddenly became an expert on industrial drainage systems, inbetween raising over £120k to keep the insurers happy, football has strangely been the first and last thing on our mind.
There’s been more important things to deal with than merely playing a game, of course.
There was what the club shop in particular looked like last Monday morning. Although is it really a good idea to walk in rainwater barefooted…?
In addition, one has to wonder what else has been damaged that you’ve not thought about. What are the condition of the electric cables, or the concession stands, or the physical structures since the deluge?
Water damage can be catastrophic, as anyone who’s seen what it can do first hand can testify.
Then, there’s the small matter of the pitch itself…
This drone footage doesn’t make it look too bad, as it goes. It no longer looks like it’s been earmarked for next year’s Ryder Cup, for starters.
On the surface, it looks managable, but of course it’s what underneath it that is the crucial thing to sort out now.
It all depends on how it was designed, whether corners were cut, and/or whether anything was properly damaged when dealing with something that is sneakily described as an Act of God.
In the upcoming week, we may be able to have a sigh of relief that the damage wasn’t nearly as bad as first thought.
Equally, we might get a very nasty shock, and we’ll have to get used to going to Loftus Road or wherever for the upcoming period.
John Woodroof has been doing the AFCW rounds this week, and his comments for the SLP were quite interesting.
Most interestingly, he seems to think Carlisle in the middle of next month is a possibility.
Personally, I’m not sure. And I don’t mean it getting called off because we somehow have three players who qualify for international duty.
You don’t get the pitch damage we did without something going wrong underneath, and we might have to be prepared to go further than just pop over to Lidl Wickes over the road.
The fixtures are quite fortunate for us right now. Granted, losing t’Stanley yesterday and Crewe this Tuesday are unfortunate, but they were never likely to take place.
But we’re at Salford this Saturday, and Carlisle isn’t guaranteed to be on anyway, so the next PL game after that is the 22nd against Morecambe.
Your editor will be arriving stateside as that kicks off, by the way. Just to warn you.
That’s less than a month and if we do return back as quick as possible that’s what I think might be the most likely return date.
There’s the Dodgy Dave’s Motors cup thingy against Brighton thumbsuckers the following week, but you could play that at Sutton or even Kingsmeadow if need be.
We actually have a little bit of leeway right now. Indeed, we might be lucky that the damage turns out to be as minimal as we hoped and we might not even need a groundshare.
I don’t doubt we tried to find somewhere – anywhere – in London that could host us at short notice for Accrington, but stadium licensing/local authorities/the Met are the likely reason why we were sitting on our arses yesterday.
With all this in mind, I’m glad we’re playing in the north east on Tuesday.
Newcastle away is the free-ist of all free hits. Nobody expects anything, we’re going to get some nice gate receipts out of it, and we’ll be well rested anyway.
For a competition that Wimbledon (WFC and AFCW eras) have traditionally done shite in, we’ve had some good draws in recent years.
West Ham at home, Arse and Chelsea away, Ipswich and now Newcastle this season too.
We’re due a good cup run in a competition people have heard of, and maybe this season could be the one.
Whoever wins on Tuesday gets to host Chelski, and should we actually succeed in the north east that’s going to be a mindfuck in so many ways.
By then, we might need to play elsewhere, and it would be something if we end up going back to Selhurst after all these years.
Actually, the whole thing is a bit 1990s retro at the moment, so maybe we can bury a few ghosts, win against the Geordies and take on Chelsea in SE25 again?
Then the younger element of our support will find out why us older heads hated being there.
I don’t expect that to happen, though, and I won’t be surprised if Newcastle gub us 4-1 or something (Stevens with a late consolation).
But this season has already proven itself to be a crazy one, so maybe our first game back at Plough Lane will be our near neighbours up the District Line after all?
Though the pubs in Wimbledon that evening could be lively…