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This is it?

Right chaps, this could be the last update of SW19 for about 16 days (what – you didn’t read the important info on the front page?), so here goes:

Vinny and Fash both feel they can get Wimbledon out of relegation trouble, and both want to be the manager. Fash’s comments were said as :

“Yeah I’d like the job but I don’t think I’d get anywhere”.

Though why he’s trying to big it up still I don’t know.

The most pathetic – and probably most offensive – declaration came from VJ in the Mirror. I’ll quote some lines from the world’s most glorified C-list actor :

“The first thing I’d do at Wimbledon is gather up all Egil Olsen’s signings and dump them in the River Wandle at the bottom of our training ground.”

Hmm, great way of raising morale, that :

“There’s an Icelander called Hermann Hreidarsson or something who looks as if he’s frightened of catching a cold. Walid Badir might have come all the way from Israel, but he wouldn’t get into my bleedin’ pub team. And the rest are a bunch of Norwegians who just give Vikings a bad name”.

So in other words, he’s reverting to some of the racial stereotypes that seem to affect many ex-pros (he once called an opposition player “a black bastard”, and no, he wasn’t referring to the colour of his shirt). Not only that, he’s also ignored the fact that Double H has actually solidified the defence, Trond is many people’s player of the year, Dry Martini is showing a lot of promise, and I still don’t reckon Lund is a bad player.

Still, he rants on.

“I remember Warren Barton and Dean Holdsworth started telling everyone they wanted to leave. But then they started playing like it, with half-hearted challenges and a bit of fannying about. I took them both into the dressing-room, pinned them up against the wall and told them – well, let’s just say they were “home truths”. It was fair enough. They wanted to go, but they needed reminding there was work to be done first. Warren even thanked me for it, saying I was right and that he had lost his way. “

Ah, the old tact, eh? Wazza moved and made a good career out of himself, more than VJ ever did anyway, funnily enough he always seemed to have put 200% effort in every time for WFC. DH was actually tapped by Eric Hall, and never played the same since, though admittedly I would struggle if I’d planted my boner into Lindsey Dawn McKenzie on a regular basis (in fact, after VJ’s “home truths” he played worse).

I think we know where the thespian is coming from with this next one :

“If Sam Hammam have been in charge he would have had Egil Olsen out within weeks.”

Funny, nobody who matters thinks or says it. Given the sort of players (ie Fash, VJ, even Hans Segers) who have come out with the most anti-WFC bile recently, what have they all got in common? Answer: they’re all SH’s cronies.

Now, a few years ago we got fined because Vinny got paid an illegal loan from SH. SH has now totally left WFC, certain people are wanting to come back in, do I smell something going to explode on quite a few people? Nah, I’m saying nowt. I shall continue :

“Joe Kinnear knew what was needed. He would say “Right, get that ball into the box and mix it. Let’s see a few challenges, a few punches. Earn the right to play football”. We’d have fights galore on the training pitch. In fact, we felt cheated if there wasn’t one. It was the Wimbledon way.”.

These days, to win games you need talent and a heavy emphasis on tactical nous, coupled with a very high degree of committment, not “fights galore”. Mind you, given the slight, ahem, discussion last week between JH and VJ, I see that things carry on as usual in the Jones household.

Anyway, he gives a glowing vote of confidence to TB by expertly declaring that

“I don’t think Terry Burton is the right man to take over until the end of the season”

and

“He quit as Joe’s right-hand man because he said he couldn’t take the pressure.”

Nothing to do with the fact that JK sacked him because he was becoming too popular, but then VJ (like JK) does like to re-write history somewhat. Anyway, we’re being unfair to him, so let’s see his obvious tactical knowhow put into action. How would he sort out our defensive problems? By playing a sweeper? By pulling back a midfielder to defend deep? Er…..

“I would put Marcus Gayle at centre-half to combat Dion Dublin against Aston Villa “

And he accuses Drillo of being crap. We occasionally played MH at CB because we had nobody else to do the job. But we have Double H (who VJ hates simply because he’s foreign – well, he said so earlier didn’t he?), or Chris Wilmott to do that job don’t we? Don’t we?

“I would recall Neil Ardley”

Sorry, but TB beat you to it.

“I’d go through the youth team and sort out the best young talent who don’t mind a bit of a kicking. “

Sadly, the likes of Johnny Giles was right when they said that VJ only got where he was today by kicking people. This is 2000, not 1986. And what does VJ want to offer us his services?

“I’d take £200,000 as thanks.”

Well, I would rather pay a hitman £200k to shut these sort of comments up. VJ’s “glorious” acting career has basically consisted of a couple of First Sport adverts, a bit-part in a UK film, and somebody who just looks hard in a Nicholas Cage film (he’s a mute in it, which is paramount to being a bit like an extra), and yet he’s walking round like some sort of god. L

ike Man U fans with Tommy Docherty, and Liverpool fans with Tommy Smith, Wimbledon fans should really treat VJ as a sad old dinosaur who got left behind. His record at coaching is lame anyway – ask any QPR fan. When I was growing up, he used to be a hero of mine. Now, I just think the guy is a self-serving retard, who totally forgot where he came from and thinks he’s a million times better than what he really is. I’ve grown up, I’ve wised up. He hasn’t. And probably never will

So, what do the club think of it? Unsurprisingly, they’re not impressed, a club spokesman (who I reckon was Sir Reg) said about all this

“Vinnie Jones has already named his price for coming as manager and no doubt John Fashanu has a substantial sum in mind also. In contrast Terry Burton never mentioned money once when he was offered the job, That’s why we know we have got the right man.

Vinnie and John would be better served concentrating on their showbiz careers rather than exploiting the situation at the club they claim they still care about. I wonder if they and a certain ex-manager I could mention intend to donate the fees they got for slagging off the club to charity? Somehow I doubt it.”

OWCH. Proof that the club is finally moving in the right direction – a swift condemnation of the story, and a nice dig or three to boot as well. Remind me to add BRG and KIR to the SW19 Christmas card list.

Anyway, I think JK has gathered that he won’t be back at WFC ever again : apparently he did an “impromptu” meetup with the team at the Watford Hilton before they went to Bradford, complete with TV crew (no doubt just so happened to be passing), and was reportedly given short sharp shrift from the players and staff. Methinks he got the message. He came up with this weird quote – ”

A lot of hard work’s gone into that club since we’ve been in the Premiership. But there’s been massive complacency – and we’ve seen what’s happened to other clubs who have had that attitude in the past”

Don’t tell me he’s bitter at the fact that he’s been rejected? Surely not. Unless he’s trying to subtly lick BRG’s arse…….

Whilst I’ve got the SW19 Christmas card list in my hand, add Alan Cork to it – he’s now slagged off the players for not showing any commitment when needed. Our current crop may be the most talented ever assembled, but they wouldn’t get into our cup winning team. Sad, but you can’t deny it.

I still consider Corky one of our best ever strikers, simply because he was capable of scoring goals whatever division he was in (and whatever age he was). So that’s Harry, Sanch and now Corky who have shown their lack of appreciation at the player power syndrome at WFC. I expect Wally Downes to kick arse soon, that will really piss off some people.

William Hill have started putting odds on who our new manager is going to be (signs we’re up there with the likes of Man U then). Lawrie Sanchez is favourite at 9/4, which is not unreasonable. However, I can’t believe some of the other odds – Fash is 6/1, JK is 7/1 and VJ is 25/1. And they’re the favourites. Methinks Billy Hill are merely cashing in on the gullibility of many people, because anyone who listened to what BRG said yesterday will gather that he won’t even consider the second, third and fourth favourites.

As for who SW19 reckons will be in charge come next season, I will go along with Sanch, though I will not rule out TB (in fact, he may well get it if he keeps us up), and somebody suggested Peter Taylor of Gillingham, which I would not object to one bit. He may even get something out of Carl Cort. May being the operative word.

Drillo’s back home in Norway, where he gets treated with a bit of respect, and launched into a broadside at the players and JK (“I assume it’s part of the culture in England for previous managers to attack other managers”). Hopefully, if we win anything next year – even the first division title – he’ll be there cheering us on.

JH is in a bit of bother – he apparently psyched himself up too much before Bradford, which caused Gunnar Halle to complain to Cunt Winter. Mind you, Stuart McCall has backed our Welsh ginger nutcase, saying he didn’t do anything physical, so he may escape punishment. Then again, I wouldn’t put anything past the FA……

Anyway, I’m off out of the UK, so I’ll see you around. Maybe 🙂