Skip to content

In a bit of Rother


And if you thought losing 4-0 to Palace wasn’t bad enough, try Chuckle Brothers 3 Not Funny At All 2 after being 2-0 up inside 10 minutes to boot. I’m sure everyone else is holding their own post-mortems, so I’ll hold mine : I cannot see where we can go from here without one or two significantly major changes. It was put to me last night that TB cannot seem to go much further with the current squad he’s got – check out the last paragraph of this entry to see a possibly breaking development (you probably know what it is anyway). The game yesterday was depressingly groundhog dayish – we do extremely well for 10 minutes, we sit back thinking we’ve done enough, let in a goal and find it impossible to stem the tide of the opposition.

What probably made it worse of all was the lack of fight – the above picture to your left was taken after the game, and the abuse (justifiable IMO given the circumstances) given out was probably far more passionate than anything on that big green grass like thing in a blue shirt. Without any dissing whatsoever, we ARE expected to muller teams like Rotherham. We have, after all, a good squad on paper. We have tonked Man Shitty at Maine Road this year. And to go 2-0 up and still lose is just unforgivable. Some were saying “Burton Out” with a bit of seriousness coming back (and on the website guestbooks this morning), and for that to happen clearly states the shit we’re currently in.

Right, let’s get to it:

Plus points: The first 10 minutes.

Minus points: The last 80 minutes.

So what actually went wrong? I try and leave boring tactical shit out of this, but I think it’s a question of being too fancy in this division.

The referee’s a……. : typical 1st division ref. Not that he should really be blamed for yesterday.

Sad: The playing of “Song 2” every time Rotherham scored. Don’t know about anyone else, but I have really grown to hate that song. It’s as cliched as the Sky Sports live football viginettes they show (you know, the ones at Ponti Stamfordi with the quite clearly carefully selected cross section of people, most of whom we all know never really go within 5 miles of a football stadium).

Quotes: (1) “Selhurst Park is becoming more like Auswizch every day” – obligatory tasteful comment from another un-named Womble on the rather eventful train journey going up. AFAIK nobody’s actually been gassed yet at SP, though give Koppout time….. (2) “Is Mrs Reg Charles?” – CUNW, after a discussion about Thorley getting married and whether Reg Davis is with wife. No idea whether Mrs Davis is either a Wolf or a dog. (3) “Holloway, you are the weakest link – FUCK OFF” – could have been anyone, but I’ll give it to CUNW again. Wonder how his hangover is? (4) “Same shit, different bucket” – Drunken One at Rotherham Central. (5) “You’re not fit to wear the tit” – some pissed Wombles after the local coppers refused to let them leave the station for a drink.


We are the goon squad and we’re coming to town, beep beep: Amazingly for South Yorkshire coppers, they showed common sense, politeness and even a degree of being nice people. Firstly, they escorted us to a decent pub from t’station, one said to me “one in two people up here are thick”. They then gave us an escort to the ground from t’pub – all nine of us. Why? Because they had spotted Rotherham’s main firm walking about. Who all looked 12. And they were still being nice, polite and civil. Even more amazing, they wished us good luck as they let us go into the ground, where we were not ambushed, attacked with knives or forced to drink the local bitter. Had it not been for the utterly wank game, I would have said how nice Rotherham was…

Dirty thoughts*: (1) A rather attractive female Midland Mainline employee was pushing a trolley back into the guard’s van. She closed the door. It all went silent and then a female sounding yelp was heard. Rather orgasmic as well, it has to be said. Ten seconds later, out comes a male MM employee, with grin on face. Ten seconds later after that, aforementioned attractive female MM employee comes out with another male MM employee, also with grin-like expression on face. Same attractive female MM employee later gave an announcement with a touch of the giggles……. (2) Manc bird coming back, with lip/tongue piercings. Sadly loved up. You know what they say about birds with pierced tongues…. (3) The jailbait on the Rotherham-Sheff train. Now I know why a mate of mine reckons I’ve been too hard on Rix, quoting “come on, you know the score…”

* – the editor would like to point out that he is not a lecherous pervert and has much respect for the female population, especially if they are prepared to swallow. Additionally, the editor would like to confirm the theory that the older you get the younger the birds you start lusting after.

News Of The World exclusive: MIDLAND MAINLINE TRAINS SECURITY LAPSE. The Midland Mainline train from Derby to London was revealed last night to be open to terrorist attacks. It was noted by the NOTW/SW19 reporter that the Guard’s Van was left unlocked, with full access to the trains PA system by all and sundry. This breach of security was highlighted by a Wimbledon fan, who shall be known as “Will you give me a blow job love? It’s for a bet”, or “BJ” for short. BJ walked into the Guards van unchallenged, and using a simple mobile phone ring tone easily connected up to the train’s PA system to play “We Are Wombles” and “Show Me The Way To Plough Lane” to the entire train. This breach of security was further heightened when a plea to “all Wimbledon fans in carriage A to do a topless conga”.

When challenged over this obviously serious security lapse, a Midland Mainline spokesman said that the PA system was needed at all times and anyone else mucking about with it would be subjected to arrest at St Pancras. It is quite clear from MM’s reply that they have no regard for passenger safety, and in light of the World Trade Center attacks such obscene threats from Midland Mainline must surely prove they are unfit to run a rail service. In a further development, BJ asked a female in the carriage whether she wanted to earn £5, but she made her excuses and left.


Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The obscene amount of alcohol consumed on the way back. The picture above shows a mere sample of the WFC fans attempt to keep the UK brewing industry alive. (2) The spotting of a Palace fan wandering around aimlessly around Sheffield station. Was he lost? Trainspotting? (3) Rotherham fan walking round with bloodied face. Hit by fellow Rotherham fan, who wanted to shut him up. Even more weird, this happened at Nottm Forest as well, apparently. Hate to see them when they lose. (4) A Rotherham driver getting arrested after an altercation with a police horse. You read that right. (5) A prominent WISA member allegedly getting bitten by same horse. What do they put in the hay up there?

Anything else?: Yeah, some were angry that Rotherham’s ground is smaller than PL, probably not such good nick as PL and yet they seem to play there OK. And if anyone at WFC can’t understand why people are angry, they should FOAD.

So, was it worth it? I’ve now added Rotherham to my list of grounds I’ve been to. Other than that, I doubt it.

In a nutshell: “Throwing it all away” – Phil Collins.

Meanwhile, rumours are circulating about TB’s future – apparently, him and Club Killer were due to meet today about something. Could be a player signing but it could also be TB quitting. I won’t get into the ins and outs of it until something definitive happens but consider the following : apparently, TB didn’t even move when the Rotherham third goal went in. Last person to do that after letting in the third goal at a Yorkshire side was Drillo, and he got the boot the next day. Trying to find TB quotes last night was a bastard, and apparently the TB To Quit rumour was on teletext for a little while. Obviously, let’s wait and see on this, it could be anything. But all is definitely not well at WFC these days…