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Cigarette Ash

Right, I wasn’t actually going to report on Ash 3 Coldplay 2 but I feel compelled to say something. The referee molests farmyard animals in his spare time. The guy was a grade A, top draw spasmo. He was seen shaking the hands of the Ash players at half time. He sent off one of our players for a ball-to-hand incident, missed some pretty nasty challenges on our players and when he did finally send off one of their lot, he gave the resulting throw in to them. Jeezus

As for the game, it was us throwing it away basically. Going 2-0 up then throwing it away (again in the last 5 minutes) shows a distinct lack of fitness and dare I say tactical nous. Where were the fucking subs? The players were shagged out and boy did it show. Really, without Cooper we don’t look anything like promotion contenders. Jeez


Plus points: Well, we did find the net a couple of times.

Minus points: Unable to run about for 90 mins. Defence shits me up. Throwing away a 2-0 lead and LOSING.

The referee’s a …………. : See above

Mouthy: The Ash #5 who yelled “we’ve shut them up”. And the guy who got sent off. And the other Ash players who clapped us sarcastically. Anyway, here’s the SW19 Bountyhunter Challenge, starting today. The first person to nobble one of those on the blacklist will get £10 from me towards their legal fees. Serious. I don’t care if it totally goes against our friendly approach, I don’t want these mouthy cunts taking advantage of our good nature. I understand some people were waiting in the car park after the game….

Quote of the day: “We’re the only club who needs a family swearing section” – somebody who should know better…

Anything else? Yeah, Ash is miles away from ANYWHERE.

So, was it worth it? The only good thing is that I’ve forgotten how events on the field can annoy me.

In a nutshell: Come the return fixture……