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Hart of stone


Horses cock. Pratt and Whitney 2 Rolls Royce 0 and finally the defensive shittyness undoes us. I had forgotten what these sort of games were like, but I now remember that they are games of major frustration sauteed with liberal amounts of annoyance and a pinch of utter embarrasment to taste. Nothing was going to go right at all today : the team looked lethargic beyond belief. Had they been on a all-nighter on the Friday? They certainly didn’t look sharp, the only time we did look OK was about 5 minutes before half time (presumably to temper the HT bollocking TE was about to deliver). Our shooting made government crime statistics look accurate, and I’ve mentioned our defence far too often. Quite frankly, it looks like CCL again for us next season, because we’ll struggle in the Ryman.

Anyway, as I have to go on…

Plus points: The full time whistle.

Minus points: Losing. Playing shite. Giving the ball away. Accuracy of shooting, especially to their goalkeeper. Inaccuracy of defending successfully. Thinking we were going to walk it. Sluggishness.

The referee’s a ….. : Thought he was a right petty little shit sometimes.

Hartley Whitney the town: Quaint little town as it goes. Quite pretty as well. It really did feel a bit like an FA Cup fixture for them I would suppose, I did fully expect the local paper to display an article with the local butcher who would be stopping early on Saturday just so he can wish HW the best in the big match. Did let itself down though by not having its chippy open on Saturday lunchtime : still, the nearby coffee shop did a divine ham bagel with salad. Oh, and its public toilets were open which is more than you can say about anywhere in London.

Hartley Whitney FC: One of the nicer teams visited this season. Very welcoming, beer tent went down well apparently. Quite a few of them. Wished us to come back whenever we wanted, reportedly, though I do wonder if the on-pitch performance had anything to do with it. Stadium described as a “railway station”….

On the slopes: Their pitch had a touch of the Yeovil/old Aston Villa about it. So much so that CUNW asked “has anyone got a spirit level?”

Point to ponder: Was that THE worst first half performance in the history of AFCW?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Kris Stewart signing a programme for a young kid. Not the first time it has happened either, apparently. Just hope for his sake the kid wasn’t secretly getting him to sign an income tax form. (2) The ref going into the crowd after the HW first goal. Er, why? (3) A Flock Of Seagulls being played on the PA before the game.

Franchise FC watch: Lost 1-0 in the FA Cup at Walsall. Hahahahahah – hope that the Midlanders get a plum tie away at Man U or Arsenil. That will REALLY piss off Rent Boy and the Failed Builder. Apparently between 50 and 200 of them there, I’m sure one figure is more believable than the other.

Now, you may have seen that they’ve signed an agreement with the Hockey Stadium to play there from next season at the earliest. Which means they have to rip the astroturf up, put in decent turnstiles etc etc. Of course, they haven’t got the go-ahead from an H&S point of view, they’re still nowhere near getting their super-dooper all sining all dancing mega 42000 28000 stadium in Denbigh. But hey, Koppout will be proud of it and it’s best to let him have his little bit of glory for once. It will make the next series of cockups and humiliations just as funny.

Oh, and one of their few remaining fans who isn’t Scottish or carries bags around is reportedly fucking off to North London for good. Shame.

Anything else? Yeah, Withdean won.

So, was it worth it? Urgh

In a nutshell: Hit the bar then 60 seconds later go 2-0 down…