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Making me Il


OK, bit late but I’m still having to adjust my body clock after going in deepest Essex. And those rabies shots still bloody hurt. Anyway, what of Friends of Ilford 0 Foes of Koppel 3? Well, it was actually a little bit one sided TBH, but then given that we had a full strength team out and they were a pub side (Essex Intermediate League or something anyway), it was a little bit disappointing. Then again, perhaps with 400 or so turning up at the Ilford FC/Athletics Track ground they raised their game. Didn’t do them much good though, we went 3-0 before HT with Petty netting two. Second half was really a complete waste of time, money and effort, with only a couple of injuries for us and Petty hitting the side netting worth mentioning. Oh well

Onto the usual gubbings….

Plus points: We won. 3-0. Two games more to be won and we’re in the final.

Minus points: More bloody injuries. Dull.

The referee’s a ……….. : Decided to annoy me by turning up about 15 minutes late which meant I could have drunk more of my Guinness. Inconsiderate tosser.

Them: About 10 of them showed up. Quite vocal in parts (OK, they shouted loudly). No idea what their real ground is like but Ilford’s ground is kewl. Very nice bar, cheap too. Good quality food (£2 for a double burger, despite their cooker breaking down).

Chants would be a fine thing: A bit of an old skool revival of sorts in the second half. Either a group flashback to more challenging times or just sheer and utter boredom. Anyway, “Oh Hamburg Town is full of porn” was heard. Hmm. “We hate Southall” another one. Perhaps the height (or was it nadir?) of the vocal airings was the ubiqutous “Charlie Koppel sucks a penis, Charlie Koppel sucks a [insert name of animal/mammal here]’s penis”. Though I am sure the mention of giraffes and Reg Davis is not to be broadcast on a family website like this one.

Point to ponder: Does Petty only ever score goals in cup competitions?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Your humble and esteemed editor managing to annoy the bar staff in the Cauliflower even before he got served. Well, they WERE taking a long time…… (2) Why were there so many coppers? OK, the Ilford firm (probably called the Bum Bandits or something) may have been putting out calls to their top boys but you would have had more trouble at a Franchise match than last night. (3) Speaking of the coppers, any other hetro male out there who didn’t want to be arrested by the WPC with the blonde highlights? (4) Didn’t Ilford’s ground remind you of Bayern Munich’s ground? Except the size of it. And the terracing. And the location

Anything else? Not really.

Was it worth it? Actually, I was asked this question whilst disembarking at Liverpool Street on the way back. I think you can guess my reaction…

In a nutshell: Dons are on their way to Dagnum…………..