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Cob county

Guess who forgot his camera? Yup, you guessed it. Still, you would have been able to get a good butchers at yet another stuffing, the latest one-sided result being Leg O’Mutton 0 Gander O’Green Lane 4. After a very very boring first half, where we have virtually no shots on target and they had less, a half time bollocking followed by plenty of smashed teacups and a few dented teeth to boot gee-up in the dressing room seemed to have the desired effect. Firstly, KC netted with a rather straightforward goal, then the proverbial floodgates proverbially opened. Second goal was an archetypal Matt Everard goal. And jokes about “bulging” are getting predictable, so you can insert your own. Thirdly, a mixture of Joe Sheerin goaline skill, Paul Scott acrobatics (and miskick) combining with Lee Sidwell put us further ahead, before the arsewhipping ended with JS himself getting a tap in. All a bit too easy really.


Plus points: Win. Away. Clean sheet. Etc. Kept attacking throughout the match.

Minus points: None, really

The referee’s a……. : Managed to miss a penalty for us, in fact he didn’t give much at all. Was described as “a bit crap” or a “blind cunt” and is NOT a child rapist (which is a popular form of abuse in Tamworth, apparently).

Them: Win brownie points for admitting they switched the game to GGL because they wanted more money. They looked like they nicked Wallingford’s kit, and on 30 minutes decided that they would start kicking us instead. Their #2 being a right dirty bastard. They had a couple of attempts on goal (well, they got into our box once or twice), though when one of their players had a 1-on-1 when they were 4-0 down and fell arse over tit, that just summed up their day.

GGL: OK, I admit it. I prefer GGL to Kingsmeadow. I always have, even when we were in the Prem, and deep down, I would have preferred to have had das Volkstadion in SM6. Yes, I know the parking is a bit crap, and the pitch/stands aren’t quite as good, but it feels a bit more homely. Bit more of an AFCW area if you see what I mean…

Spotted: Michael “MC” Harvey on Soccer AM, sporting his AFCW tracksuit and making mincemeat over the floundering gloryhunter Tim Lovejism and over-rated slapper Helen Chamberlain. While Sucker AM should have been elbowed eons ago, it’s still the same tired old jokes. Not too sure about his claim that we’ll go up into the Conference South because of our fanbase – unless he knows something we don’t – and is likely to be with us for a couple more years.

Song Sung Blue: Loud as fuck in the second half, with some good banging of the Securicor roof and a good solid sing of “Terry Eames Yellow/Blue Army”. Their goalie got it big time, as he was fat, ginger and wearing a bandana : “Ginger and he’s fat” being one of them, “Get that teatowel off your head” being another. Bizzare “Number One lost his skateboard”. Also, “Can you hear the Cobham sing?” was followed by the mandatory “Shall we sing a song for you?”. I think singing the Champagne Song at Cobham is a bit too ironic, though I am fully aware that some people in Cobham are so poor they only have three Mercs in the drive.

Point to ponder: It certainly wasn’t the case in the second half, but somebody did suggest to me today at HT that the atmosphere was “as usual” not that much. After the suggestion of a swearing section at KM, the comment made was that people are a bit too PC and people are perhaps scared of singing anything that may cause offense. Now, I did wonder this, especially as some people are a bit hostile to the MC Harvey chants. OK, I am fully aware that 95% of our fanbase are middle class liberals, who all drink Fair Trade coffee and have helped fund Michael Moore’s very expensive (and exclusive, ie no riff raff, ie the people who buy his books) pad in New York’s Upper West side, and even an un-PC oik like me (I read the Telegraph and Spectator, fer chrissake) is aware that certain things shouldn’t be sung. But I noticed today that people seem to think “ah fuck it” and give some large, especially about Dean Holdsworth’s wife, and yes, MC Harvey. And I think the atmosphere was great, considering (because of?) this. Backlash? Dunno, but worth considering, methinks…

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Dobo Jnr’s scalding looked nasty, basically the whole of his right hand upper body is bandaged up. Does make you wonder what the hell he did with a kettle to get in that state – on second thoughts, do we want to know? (2) Seeing a massive leaf fight between three kids in the first half. More entertaining than the game, certainly. (3) Some naughty boy openly drinking Strongbow at the Securicor end in the second half. Don’t worry, I won’t point you out. (4) Yeovil fan at game. Is he the same Yeovil fan who went to at least one of our games last season as well?

Opposition watch: Chipstead drew. Ha. Oh, and Franchise won unfortunately, though as Gills gave away loads of free tickets and the Franchise fans took up their obligatory row of seats, even getting HIV seems more preferable.

Anything else? Urm, not really. Is it true that this is our 27th straight victory?

So, was it worth it? Yeah, guess so

In a nutshell: Can we dare think the unthinkable?