Skip to content

Emmerdale Farn


Panic over. Looks like Memorial Ground 0 Gap Road Cemetery 4 has stopped the rot of, er, 2 games without a victory, and it was a pretty comprehensive one at that. On a pitch that could easily resemble a potato field, and on a grassy viewing area that did resemble a potato field, a largely awe-uninspiring game produced a result that is probably the most badly needed of the whole season. Had we not have won today, or at least turned in another Sandhurst/Colne performance, the mumurings would have been happening and once you start losing the habit of winning games, the habit is far, far harder to break. Thankfully, we looked more hungry in 10 mins than the previous 180 minutes, which wasn’t difficult.

Goals? Couldn’t see the first one, but JS scored it. Everard netted for the second, thank christ he’s scoring again, I can’t do any more childish jokes about his surname. Third goal, and the legendary Paul Scott netted after some great work by KC, before KC himself capped off a fine performance with a nice rounding of the goalie and pocketed himself some nice dough thanks to the Golden Coops raffle * (like Golden Goal except the first goal scored by KC counts).

* – IMPORTANT NOTICE : The editor of SW19’s ARMY would like to categorically state that there is NO suggestion whatsoever that Mr Kevin Cooper (a) entered into the Golden Coops raffle and (b) deliberately witheld scoring until the minute printed on his ticket. The comment made is a figurative comment and is therefore not provable in a court of law. Unless of course he really DID enter the raffle.

Had enough? Good, here’s…..

Plus points: We won. Away. Clean sheet. Far more comprehensive performance. Defence looks more solid.

Minus points: Shit game wasn’t it?

The referee’s a ……. : Well, to be honest I didn’t really notice him, he certainly didn’t seem to lose it. He might have booked JS and/or Bassey though.

Them: Crap. Seriously, they were crap. Can’t recall them having many shots on target at all. Were treated rather cruelly to a “Chim chimmery chim chimmery, chim chim cheroo, we hate the bastards in claret and blue”, which of course is their colours. Worse for them, it was exactly the same chant that Millwall aimed at them last season at KM. They must really hate us. Still, on the plus side it was easy enough parking and they did a nice cup of tea.


Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The balcony on the ground that meant that some tight bastards intrepid and enterprising Wombles decided to reallocate their £6 entry fee to Farnham’s coffers in some other ways. Your humble and esteemed editor braved life and limb and took photos of said people, identities protected to save them beating me up when they find out I’ve posted their image on here. (2) Sign outside telling that Farnham “welcomes Wimbledon FC”. Right…. (3) The game kicking off about 5 minutes late because of the amount of people trying to get in. This didn’t help by the fact that the trains were buggered, and the pubs were really slow to serve people from the smoke. Obviously.

Wallingford watch: Those who can be arsed to look below first place in the CCL table might see our old sparring partners below us and within pitchforking distance. If their millions of fans are to be believed, overtaking us from the CCL top spot is a mere formality, which of course it is : after all, they are a razor-close 3 points behind and the 4 game gap between us is so close it’s paper thin. So, they went to Cobham today for certain victory, and guess what? They lost, 3-2…….

Anything else? Yes, it was FA Cup 4th round day, where the plucky little clubs from areas that normally don’t give a shit about football for one day all get together and travel to watch their team in the big match. And at St Andrews today, some crappy lower division side with no supporters went down fighting bravely 1-0 to a classier and understrength team. I am sure everyone at AFCW would like to patronisingly pat them on the head, give a condescending “brave effort” to them and wave them goodbye, safe in the knowledge that we’ll never hear from them again. Now, what was their name again?

So, was it worth it? I would say so.

In a nutshell: And the marching carried on into the night.