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God is a Womble


Hey ho, let’s go. Another Saturday, another win, and in the end God 1 Allah 4 was too easy, though it wasn’t the most entertaining game I’ve tried to see. The action on the pitch, where relevant : Scotty opened the scoring thanks to running on and slotting past the goalie with his knee. You read that right. Typically, I missed their goal, but I was being distracted by a female. Seriously. The second half was a bit dull apparently. I say “apparently” but I couldn’t see a damn thing. All I know is that JS scored with a rather deft backheel type thingy that we used to do in the school playground when we tried to look skillful, and Everard netted as well. Don’t ask me how they looked, though I don’t think I had the worst view.

Moving on…

Plus points: We won. Quite convincingly in the end.

Minus points: JS’s injury. Conceding. Looked painful, but at least he lasted close on 90. Minutes, as opposed to seconds.

The referee’s a……: Well, he wasn’t Mr Fish, which was something. Then again, even Tony Blair officiating couldn’t do much worse. And today’s ref was, urm, well, er….

Them: Apparently a bit niggly, obviously having separate pitch entrances for the dressing rooms proves how endemic it seems to be. Kudos for the £5 entrance fee. Nice cup of tea as well. Special mention to the burger flipper, who congratulated us loudly (to sell his burgers) and reportedly even offered to cook for us if we went up. And they still have that female physio. Insert predictable comment about groin strains here.

Point to ponder: OK, today’s game was crap, but as mooted by somebody else somewhere, how many evening games have we played? Lots. We’ve played twice a week for quite a few weeks now, and that surely must take its toll. After the inevitable loss we’re going to have on Tuesday, I suggest the players and staff take a collective day off next Saturday. We’re going to need it. And just think of the reward at the end of the season…

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) I am reliably informed that the first half made a group of Wombles talk about spelling mistakes on broadsheet newspapers. (2) The kids game behind the goal in the second half was more entertaining. Latest score seemed to be about 27-27. (3) Missing the proverbial non-league dog (an alsation, for you fact fans) doing the most exciting thing of the whole game and having a massive shit.

Franchise watch: Oh, do I have to? Lost to Walsall 1-0, 50 Frenzies there. Etc.

Anything else? Yes, thanks to the two people who lent me money for a cup of tea, thanks to the person who actually bought me a cup of tea (and who even phoned me to ask me if I took sugar). Even offered to hold it for me whilst writing down stuff for this report (and the tea).

So, was it worth it? Urm, dunno. Can’t wait until we win promotion TBH

In a nutshell: Wake me up when it’s over