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Phoney Hall

Perhaps this club is different to WFC after all. For once we didn’t large up a semi final appearance and pathetically bottle it, a la Leicester or Chelski. Instead, as Champs 5 Chavs 0 illustrated, we got down to the task in hand and made it look embarrasingly one sided. I’m not joking when I say that it could have been 10. It should have been six had Bassey not decided to play the long ball game for his penalty at the end. The game? Well, after oodles of running, plenty of offside trap beating, we finally went ahead when a CH player did something in the box. Must have been bad, as he got sent off – perhaps he offered somebody outside? Needless to say, KC dispatch the penalty.

The floodgates opened : next, Matt Everard made it 2-0 with a trademark free-kick and header, then a peach from KC made it 3-0. I managed to miss the fourth goal, but I believe that it was Jamie Taylor with a lob. Or was it a five yard tap in, as somebody was trying to tell me? Half time came and went, and the game sort of died off, KC’s good run and shot making it 5-0. And a hat-trick as well. OK, CH came back into it a little bit, and even made Standen save a couple, but that really was that.

So now we’re in the PCC final, at the pretty brain dead schedule of a Friday evening. Hey, why not move it to a Sunday, you could make more money out of us get more people in that way…


Plus points: Comprehensive stuffing. Tore the CH defence apart. KC’s hat trick. KC’s second goal. Keeping discipline when CH went all Southall on us. Very tricky banana skin overcome with embarrasing ease.

Minus points: Should have been 10.

The referee’s a……: Given grief by the CH fans at half time, so must have done something right. He did get a ball in the head though.

Them: Well, they had a corner in the first minute. They took about 200 down with them, and they were being watched by the Old Bill from beginning to end. A group of them reportedly turned back at the gates, another group of them were in the front row of the stand and had intentions of larging it up the whole game. This was quickly knocked out of them when nice Mr Policeman and his chums went in after 2 minutes and had a little word with them. Their evening’s entertainment thwarted and were quiet the rest of the evening. Chris Tucker, CH manager and mouthy little gobshite, was apparently sent off, as was his assistant. Might be worth keeping an eye out for the local papers in the next week or so, just to see what paranoid, bitter and lame excuses his jism filled orfice comes out with. Rest assured, it will all be our fault.

Organised crime: Two police vans, more stewards than at any other game at GGL I’ve seen, and the St John’s Ambulance boys to boot. And needless to say, apart from a group of 20 local Palace fans waiting in the Plough wanting to discuss the weather, hence its closure, things went off calmly. Just think, had Bromley put as much effort into supplying even half of what was there last night, as they put into being irresponsible, greedy and blaming us for it, none of this would have been necessary.

Song sung blue: Pretty good atmosphere, but was it really necessary to sing “You’re worse than Crystal Palace” at them?

Point to ponder: Why DO we try and walk it in the net?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The minute silence for Jim Bacon. Nice to see something dignified in this whole episode. (2) A TV crew there from Football Focus. Which ruined my theory that they were there from Crimewatch. (3) Was there REALLY one of the original troublemakers from AFCW in the club bar? (4) Second half so awe-inspiring that your humble/esteemed editor was engaged in debate about….. fighting. As Richard Littlejohn says, you couldn’t make it up

Franchise watch: No. Don’t. Read my article.

Anything else? Yeah – I feel exactly the same as we did when we beat Luton in 1988. I still cannot believe that we’re actually in a cup final. Of course, we’ll lose to NGU…

So, was it worth it? Hmm, an SF victory in our second season of existing? Doubt it.

In a nutshell: Glad this sorry episode is finally over. Now, cup final tickets and cup final song……..