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Tres bien


The Magic Of The Cupâ„¢ continues, this time Dover 0 Sangatte 1.Who said romance was dead? This could have been a tricky one for us, them being a division above us, heavily in debt and wanting to teach us cockneys a lesson.

Things started off concernedly (?) before the game, when it transpired that we were only playing with one player up front. Doubtless this was a cynical attempt to get a moneyspinning replay at KM tactical manoever caused by our current injury problems. Still, the game started (with the two Palace loanees playing together, though not in that manner) and we actually looked quite solid. Trouble was, Dover’s gameplan was quite obvious – they’d gone through all the teams we’d played, studied all the effective moves against us and then decided that they’d go for Southall. And so it came to pass that 10 minutes in, the first heavy tackle came in….

Come to think of it, it was surprising that it didn’t manage to kick off so much. It was niggly, for sure. Actually, we were playing quite well, though our shooting wasn’t much. So, I headed off to the tea bar. I think you can gather what happened – suffice to say, you’ll have to ask the OS who scored. Anyway, we were 1-0 up and we deserved it. Couldn’t exactly say I deserved the “ha ha” I got when I returned to my vantage point….

Second half? Well, as a spectacle it wasn’t much. The ref (see below) assisted matters in this. Mind you, a lot of people were comparing it to the pre-seasons, I suppose it’s not so much whupping their arses, it’s more to the effectiveness of the play. I don’t think Dover had one decent chance to speak of, whilst we could have actually had a couple. And whoever put it over the bar towards the end, hang your head in shame. And their goalie handled outside the area in the 90th minute. Still, it was fun, especially after the game when DA saw the massed Womble ranks outside the dressing room…..

Moving forward

Plus points: A win. Away. Clean sheet. Decent enough performance. Two CPFC loanees look good for this month. Hard fought. Snuffing out Dover.

Minus points: Shooting.

The referee’s a……: Some quotes from the Womble faithful : “Total dickhead”. “We’d been better wthout one”. “Wanker”. “He won’t be happy until somebody goes off on a stretcher”. And something on my trusty Olympus by somebody who clearly didn’t like me interrogating them 🙂 So, basically he missed practically everything, and if I’m being polite didn’t quite have control of the game. If I’m being impolite I’d like to call him a complete shitlicking cuntflap who masturbates to “specialist” animal porn. His linos weren’t much better, one prime example being when the lino flagged us for offside about 10 minutes late. Needless to say, he went off smiling at half time, until he got nearer then started to show signs of abject fear.

Them: Despite being from a shit part of Kent (what do you mean, all of Kent is shit?), no remote hint of Herne Bay unpleasantness. Without being Willy Large Gonads, they deserved to draw us, especially given their debt problems. Fair few of them turned up, about 5-600. Their team was up for it, running more determinedly than an illegal immigrant running for a Channel Tunnel train. Sometimes, their enthusiasm went a bit further than that. Oh, and their goalie went off injured, though it was unclear whether this was before or after he attempted to kick our player.

Song sung blue: And as though we’d been storing our creative juices up all this time, some top draw stuff. Try – “You’re French and you know you are”. “We can see you sneaking in”. “Your mum’s a Kosovan”. I fully expect a couple of letters of disquiet to the New Statesman for those ones. Elsewhere, “Small town near Margate” or “Small town near Calais”. “What time does your ferry leave?”. At the end, “Three games till Franchise”. There, if that doesn’t motivate you, nothing will

Spotted: The non-playing players, including Matt E (wearing some nice sandals), Simon Bassey and Ginge. Nobody smoking.

Song sung blue – bonus edition: Deserves a category on its own. During the game, a rather serious sounding PA announcement said that somebody in the Dover end had lost their mobile. Bless. We started to chant “Pikeys stole your mobile” or something like that. Then, just imagine this bellowing out of the terraces…. “Can you hear the mobile ring, no, no. Can you hear the mobile ring, no, no. Can you hear the mobile ring? I can’t hear a fucking thing…..”

Point to ponder: The atmosphere yesterday was superb. The chants were fresh and sharp, the players responded (in fact, when DA stepped out onto the pitch, he looked round and mouthed something to the effect of “fuck me”), and I would say that went a long way to netting us the win. I wonder if the fact that this is an event, ie something to actually play for? You see, the problem with our CCL success, and if I’m being honest the R1 to a degree (along with half the other trophies we’re in, FA Trophy probably an exception) was that we were practically a dead cert to win them. And it did get boring. This on the other hand was part of the real hope we could get a club-defining draw. Don’t tell me it didn’t show, and don’t give me the old Hammam line that we must sacrifice all else for a league position. A decent cup draw could stamp this club on the map, and a level of exposure we’d only partly get in the Conference. Yesterday, people were happy.

And if you need further proof of this theory, when you watch the Ryder Cup look at how otherwise content professionals seem to go for the win.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The buzz around the place. Probably as good as the CCL final. (2) Dover players having “DAFC” on their shorts (backside areas). Female interest in DAFC kit increased by 220% for some reason. (3) The area around their ground was so hilly they use it to train professional mountaineers. (4) Distinct lack of seagulls, which surprised me. Maybe they’ve all headed over to Calais to visit relatives and pick up some cheap vin rouge.

Anything else? Yeah. Dover apparently play (or used to play) Calais once a year as a sort of friendly. Hoverspeed Cup I think it was. Can’t find anything on Google about it though. Anyway, the question is, what do Calais fans sing to Dover fans? Apologies for awful French, but I can imagine “Notre vin est tres bon marche” (our wine is very cheap). “Nous avons moins Kosovanes que vous” (We’ve got less Kosovans than you). And a special namecheck to anyone who can translate this into French: “We go to Flunch, to have our lunch, we’ve got white wine on our breath. Your cheese don’t smell, your beer is hell, and you all drive on the left”

ATTENTION: For anyone who doesn’t know what Flunch is, clickez ici. And SW19 recommends the steak hauche.

So, was it worth it? Maybe.

In a nutshell: There’ll be (yellow and) bluebirds over, the white cliffs of Dover….