Skip to content

Dun and dusted


Now look, some may claim I’ve sold out by being a bit less pessimistic about things recently, but when the Magic Of The Cupâ„¢ gives you Brown Stable 0 Brown Shirts 3, it’s really hard to be narky, petty and above all else angst-filled.

So. I managed to miss most of the first half, but I had quite a legit reason. See below. I did manage to see RU’s first two goals though. Just. First goal was a shot that the goalie appeared to fumble. Second goal was a cross with a far post header. Will that do? If not, it’ll have to.

Second half, I found a far better vantage point, for me to see RU’s hat trick goal, which looked like a 40 yard screamer. Though it’s probably really a 2 yard tap in. And that, really was that.


Plus points: Win. Again. Away. Again. Clean sheet. Again. Robert Ursell hat-trick. Again (or has he got one before?)

Minus points: JS lasting about 20 minutes.

The referee’s a……: Well, he didn’t exactly do many favours by totally failing to let any of our injured players back onto the field. HINT – When people are waving at you during a game, it’s unlikely it’s somebody telling you that you’ve left your car lights on

Them: Dunstable FC have to be the most under-organised team we’ve ever played. Try waiting for a cup of tea for 30 minutes in the first half because the two urns they had weren’t heating up quick enough. Now you know why I missed the first half. Don’t get me wrong, they were nice people, but I was warned before the game that Dunstable wouldn’t be able to cope. And they didn’t – the toilets were blocked up even before the game started. As for their team, they decided to get physical early on. Didn’t exactly work. Oh, and their kit looked like Brighton.

As for Dunstable itself, any place that has Cash Converters as one of the bigger shops is not a place I’d want an evening game at. Half the shops appeared closed, and it’s only thanks to an entreprenerial Turkish guy (and I for one will willingly back Turkey to join the EU) that I got some grub. It’s Chav City and then some, but then again, any town halfway between Luton and MK isn’t going to be full of intellectuals, high flyers and gentry.

Spotted: Somebody else from that Coney Hall game who got a little, ahem, over-excited. Seen coming out of taxi, avec alcoholic drink in mitt…

Point to ponder: Today was totally different to Dover, and, dare I say it, not so much fun. Why? Because it was pretty dormant crowd wise. I really think most of the problem is that we’re too spread out. Today, we took the place over and we all hung around in our cozy little groups. We’re pretty quiet most of the time TBH – answers on how to make us sound more like Fernebache than Franchise on a postcard please.


Truth is stranger than fiction: Only one story could justify this section. The streaker. Yup, he came on, butt nekked, towards the end of the game and decided to run about – unchallenged. Perhaps that’s just as well. He ran to the Dunstable goalie, and jumped on him. He then ran off the pitch and decided to slide tackle (sorry) the lino. Who actually got felled, everyone was pissing themselves extremely concerned. To sum up, I saw a nude man jumping on a guy wearing shorts. He then slid in behind another man in uniform, and they both ended up on the floor smiling. He then was put in handcuffs and got taken away by a big butch guy in cop uniform to be punished. I’ve always wondered what’s in gay porn. Coincidentally, it was suggested that next time we could have a female streaker, though the two women near me weren’t quite so keen on volunteering…..

Franchise watch: Before the game, there was a couple of hardnut posts on the internet that some of their mongs were going to come down to our game. Needless to say, they were going to outsing us, show us how it’s done and generally act the arse. So, how many did you spot? I spotted the grand total of, er, none. As in nowt. Nothing. Not a sausage. Nil. Nul. Zero. Presumably they all got stuck on the A5. Or maybe they did go, and sort of kept quiet, just in case Winky spotted them if you see what I mean. There’s more chance of Christopher Reeve walking the walk than any Franchise fan.

Anything else? Yeah. Didn’t the PA guy just sound so frenzied?

So, was it worth it? Of course.

In a nutshell: Two games from Franchise.