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Cop shop

Few things before I start. Firstly, I should be writing on a regular basis for the Non League Paper (more than likely their midweek games not involving AFCW). I already have Woking vs Forest Green under my belt, and should have a few more in the pipeline. It’s possible I may do an occasional Saturday match if I ask nicely, so if you come on here one Saturday evening and find nothing is there, I’m elsewhere.

Secondly, and talking of being elsewhere, I have a vacancy for a report or two – I won’t be at either Met Police (Kill Bill 2) or Flackwell Heath in the Bryco tin pot. I’m abroad again – back to Warsaw, this time in the cold – and naturally I won’t be there.


And with luck, the Met Police game on the 23rd will be a helluva lot more exciting than Lamb 2 Pork 0. I don’t know whether it was because it was a 1pm kickoff, or whether it’s because it was an anti-climax after the recent FA Cup wins, or apathy, or the cold, or some crappy game involving two teams afterwards. But this sucked. No, this sucked and then some. With the exception of the goals, I really can remember very little of it. Even my notes weren’t that plentiful. But I will endeavour to tell you that we went ahead with an own goal from a corner in the first half. They managed to hit the post and a backpass/shot/something required Naisbitt to scurry back and clear off his line. Second half? Not too much really, except that we managed to net in about the 91st minute thanks to Chris Gell following a good cross by Ryan Gray. And that, as they say, was that.

Now move along please, there’s nothing to see here….

Plus points: At least we won without conceding a goal

Minus points: The rest of it.

The referee’s a…….. Copper. Well, that’s what people were trying to sing around me.

Them: Not a bad side, as it goes. Certainly up for it, though their tackles were a bit, ahem, heavy handed. Insert jibe about police brutality here. Mind you, the last time a copper went down so quickly, it ended up with Winston Silcott being convicted. Also, was I the only one who found their sponsorship of “Copleys” a tad on the ironic side?

Song Sung (Boys In) Blue: So, where were the anti-cop chants? Bloody liberals. The Old Bailey is noiser. I think Phillo’s choice of music beforehand seemed to go over a lot of peoples’ heads – I know I had to ask about some of the stuff being played (although everyone got the Laughing Policeman one). And I’m under 30. Did get a couple of “You’re nicked AAAAHHHH” though. A “Chief Wiggum” chant do you? And right at the end, after the second goal, we got “We are the Old Bill haters”. Now that’s more like it….

Point to ponder: Yesterday, there was a BBC programme about us, and they came up with the statistic that we are only three (now two) games away from at least equalling the British senior football for unbeaten runs. Looking at today, why can’t I help thinking that this will be an albatross around our necks?


Truth is stranger than fiction: Or rather, the ACAB special. Your humble/esteemed editor actually asked a copper the time, who I think wanted to nick me for being cheeky. Anyway, in true journo fashion, I got him to admit that he was supporting AFCW because “there are hardly any coppers in the Met Police team”. Grand total of four proper coppers, it transpires. I presume the rest are pretend policemen, like traffic wardens, CSOs and anyone who works for the West Midlands Police. Needless to say, I was taken in for further questioning when they asked me “How many players for AFCW actually come from Wimbledon?”. I referred them to my duty solicitor and then was released without charge. Incidentally, some other coppers were having banter thrown at them in the WB in the first half, somehow I don’t think they were too impressed…..

Franchise watch: So, they move their game to Friday night, somehow persuade 4k football starved locals to come and watch them and they’re rewarded with a 2-1 defeat to Bradford in the last minute. Stop laughing. Back in the relegation zone I do believe…

Anything else? Yes, I was reliably told during the game that it would have gone to extra time. Usually, if you’re in the lead you don’t want extra time as it is a punishment for bad defending at the wrong time. Today, I don’t think anyone wanted extra time as it would have sent people into a coma.

So, was it worth it? Listen sunshine, don’t question the law, OK? You’re going to Hendon….

In a nutshell: Oink.