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Sussex by the, er, by-pass


Suddenly, all looks fine again in the AFCW garden. OK, so it was only the New Sponsor Needed Cup but judging by Goats 1 Llamas 2 the millstone has been removed and suddenly we look like the all-conquering warriors, metaphorically raping and pillaging all before us. Probably.

I can’t quite place what’s different since Bromley but the ball was on the deck a little bit more, there wasn’t so much tension, that sort of thing. Dulwich Hamster will be interesting

The game? Oh, that. Well, we opened the scoring thanks to Martin Randall, who shot outside the area. Horsham came at us, but we put the game beyond reach thanks to the no-longer-much-maligned Richard Butler who trickled the ball in. I say trickled in, but the last time a group of people showed such brain dead sluggish reactions, it was the photoshoot of the next “I’m A Celebrity Get Me Into Hello Magazine” retardfest.

Well, we should have put the game beyond reach, but we didn’t. It wasn’t anything to do with us, but thanks to the ref (see below) and other factors, Horsham got a penalty. Cue much snarling and gnashing of teeth. Naisbitt was so irate he apparently kicked one of their players, thankfully not seen. After a conversion, making it 2-1, it could have gone wrong. But really, it was only because of JS’ inability to lob the goalie when he was clean through that it was less comfortable than it should have been.

None the less for that.

Plus points: Professional. Good passing. Disiplined.

Minus points: Shame we didn’t keep a clean sheet.

The referee’s a……..: Right now, there is a donkey somewhere in a field in Sussex that has been given oral gratification by the man in the middle yesterday. I wouldn’t say he was bad but Mr Fish (he of G&G infamy) would condemn his reffing. The evidence : We get a free kick and our player compains about the heavy challenge. Result? Our player booked. Our player getting his clock cleaned by a tackle? Mere booking. Brutal sodomy in the centre circle without any lubricant? Stiff talking to. DA getting irate? Ref storms over in a petty little fit and orders him from the bench. He probably has a tiny willy. Oh, and he had a stupid high pitched whistle.

Them: Second in the league and it shows. Still shit compared to us though. Their fans are the noisiest in the league, with the strangest chants known to man. The one about not surrendering to the low fat spread, donkey riding, excessive mentions of lard (don’t tell the Health secretary, he’s trying to ban everything else that people might enjoy) and a 30 minute rendition of a song involving jazz mags can all be found in print here. Our lot were pretty quiet in comparison, but then our lot are pretty quiet compared to trappist monks.

Three’s a crowd: No idea of the attendance (it’s not on the OS) but it did look a lot more than I had thought would turn up. Then again, I only thought three people would turn up. Not only that, but the vibes were better. Obviously it’s not just the players who feel happier.

Point to ponder: OK, JS not getting injured for once is a minor miracle, but I wonder if he’s lost the confidence to shoot? There were a couple of instances where he passed the ball instead of doing what strikers do and hammer it home. And this is the Catch 22 situation. For him to stick around at AFCW he needs to be fit. But he also needs to be sharp at scoring, so he needs to keep playing. But until he proves his fitness he can’t play. My feeling is that he won’t be an AFCW player next season..

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) One of the nicest kebabs I’ve had outside of Plaistow/Old Kent Road. More meat than the entire burger collection at KM [note to AFCW/caterers: that was a joke]. (2) No sighting of any of the locally based Eames clan. Shame, but that’s football

Anything else? Yeah, who are we playing in the next round?

So, was it worth it? Suppose so.

In a nutshell: Now, let’s beat Dulwich shall we?