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In the gutter, part 2

Sorry that Patio of England 2 Garden of England 1 is a little bit late. I was recovering from the emerald green shirts of the opposition, which looked as non-league as their ground.

The thing is, I’m glad we got this tie out of the way. It was bloody cold last night, and I really didn’t fancy standing for another half hour watching a game that really we should have won. Quite simply, had our shooting been up to scratch, it would have been 4-1 or something.

As it was, we got a penalty, which was reminiscent of Duncan Jupp’s effort in that pre-season tournament down in Portsmouth many eons ago. I think the ball is still going.

We then scored thanks to RB. Yet we decided to do our impression of the England cricket team (and no, I don’t mean get totally bladdered and then turn up to 10 Downing Street wondering where you are). For about 30 seconds later – they scored. Bastards. I had visions of a creaking game, labouring and crashing out meekly to a lower division side in cheap looking kit. In short, an old League Cup type against somebody like Cambridge United.

Except it didn’t quite seem to happen. TBH, I really can’t recall them offering a lot, and when we got another penalty (duly dispatched by SS), you might as well have gone home. Still, Dartford next. Another trip to bloody Kent though. They’re playing the game in Gravesend, another cesspit Medway town full of toxic waste by-products. And that’s just the local inhabitants.


Plus points: We win. Not really looking like we would lose.

Minus points: Can we keep a goal lead for longer than 30 second next time? Please?

The referee’s a…..: Useful for helping me vent on the odd occasion. Apparently gesticulated to us (ever so subtly)..

Them: Not exactly on our christmas card list. Plenty – and I mean, plenty – of anti-Ramsgate/pikey songs by us. Not all of it entirely good humoured either (like you’re surprised). Saw a well-known Womble afterwards asking a steward to sort out one of their players for, ahem, displaying how many goals they scored that night.

Womble aggro: A minibus of 13 lads from Ramsgate were spotted outside a pub around Shannon Corner. They went in a pub and about 100 hard core AFCW fans totalled the pub. Rumour had it that some Gillingham were spotted with them but our lot were backed up with a few Fulham (remember that FFC fan who died? Revenge). As soon as the old bill arrived, most people scarpered, but a couple caught up in the aftermath are now getting legal advice at New Malden police station. This will at least explain why there were about 10-15 Ramsgate fans there last night*

* DISCLAIMER: Actually, none of this happened. Anyone who believes it is seriously too stupid to be let out alone without adult supervision. Given some of the comments aimed at me over the last few days, I just wanted to see what happened when I deliberately go out to upset people 😉

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Getting 1100. Unsure if that’s good or bad. (2) The smell from “Smellylands” (copyright Mr P). I really can’t believe that sewage doesn’t rot your brain. Perhaps that explains the general conduct of your average Cambridge Estate dweller.

Anything else? Yeah – Rob Ursell was back on the bench. Nice to see him back, but I do wonder if far too much expectation is being put on him. He’s had a very bad injury, which will mean it’ll take time to get back into the swing of things anyway. He’ll be coming into a much tougher league. And the pitches won’t be the best. I just hope he doesn’t get destroyed by our patient fanbase when he doesn’t score 3 goals a game…

So, was it worth it? Well, it was a night out I suppose.

In a nutshell: Who needs the FA Cup?

And finally: As said before, I’m not at Chelmsford. Chances are, if you’re reading this at work on Thursday, I’ll be somewhere between Stansted and Cork. I’m back late Saturday, so if you fancy seeing your scribings in glorious HTML……