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Up for the cup

Yes, SW19 is back. I think we’ve played more league games than I’ve done updates in the past month. You might have to excuse some of the content in this report, I’m still getting over being poleaxed by male flu this week. Well, either that or watching Chelski v Barcelona made me ill…..

Anyway. At times, Hells Angels 3 Tonbridge Angels 2 was the footballing equivalent of a snot-filled hankerchief. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter – our name is in the next round – but really we escaped with that. Whether it was a post-Exeter hangover or not I don’t know, but I’m not sure what was worse : us losing a 2-0 lead or realising it could have been 2-5 at half time.

I’ve waxed lyrical to the point of tedium about our defence, even if I do get the occasional reminder that statwise, it ain’t too bad. Well, minus Frankie or not, we were lucky. Yes, Luke Garrard’s goal was a deffo contender for Goal Of The Round, but after that, by fuck we tried it on. At least one fine save by AL and one clearance off the line, not to mention a zillion corners. Christ, even the Belgians in WW2 tried to put up a bit more resistance.

That said, having rode that lot all out, we went 2-0 up. I’m not sure if I can describe it, I hope Dons Online have it up and running. However it was scored (and it looked like a backpass gone wrong) we should have sewn the game up there and then. Take the sting out of the tie, frustrate the opposition and give our secretary plenty of time to start organising with Bromley for the rearranged fixture.

Simple, eh? Hey, this is AFCW – find a round hole and push a square through it. The luck that we’d had in the first half gave out and about 5 minutes later it was 2-2. Suddenly, visions of seasons collapsing around our ears came into being. It was obvious that we were never going to get into their half ever again, and that the killer third for them was merely forthcoming. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one thinking we can now concentrate on the league.

Well, that’s how it should have gone, anyway. Typically, and demonstrating our increased resolve this season, we scored again. The one bit of quality that we showed in the second half up until then, and we got the goal. QE fucking D. Strangely enough, it seemed to pan out as a contest after that.We could (and probably should) have got a 4th, while Tonbridge sort of had the stuffing knocked out of them a little bit.

Anyway, we won. We can now start planning for the victory parade around Wimbledon, because our name is clearly on the cup. Why? Well, every team that wins the trophy has one dodgy game during their run. WFC vs Watford in 1988, Italy vs Australia in the WC 2006, Man Utd vs Oldham in 1994, that sort of thing. I will not listen to anyone who points out that all those results happened in the latter stages of the competition.

While you await what Ryman Prem side at KM we’ll draw, here….

Plus points: We won. In the next round. Came back when it mattered. PB. Luke Garrard’s goal.

Minus points: Defence. Letting slip a two-goal lead. Mindless panic hoofing at times. Rosco and PB going off injured.

The referee’s a…..: Some would describe his performance as poor. Others may believe that his decision making had eccentric elements to it. Personally, I thought he was a complete cunt who films himself ramming suitably shaped pieces of fruit up his rectum before sending said video clip to his friends at the MK Dons Supporters Club for bukkake purposes. Probably. The cheer when he gave us a decision said a lot, anyway. Joining in with the banana/anal insertion protocol was the linesman, whose interpretation of the offside rule now includes flagging players for being behind the defender when the ball is played.

Them: To be honest, they can consider themselves unlucky not to have their name in the next round of the cup. They worked hard, passed well (and usually to each other), and at times really wanted to win. Their fans? Did the highly original MK stuff five minutes before kickoff, such was their eagerness to show how witty, forward thinking and distinctly non small time they were. Mind you they are from Kent, which immediately puts them into SW19’s bad books, although I believe Tonbridge is a well-to-do place. In other words, they’re posh pikeys. Presumably their caravans are made by BMW.

Point to ponder: Was it me or was the atmosphere dead? Even with the TE central singing section, it did appear that we were trying to outdo Franchise. Wonder if like the team, we ourselves were suffering a post-Exeter hangover?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Spotting of an FCUM shirt in the crowd. Bit weird as they were playing the Man Shitty equivalent today. (2) Firework display at the end of the game. Perhaps they should have done it halfway during the second half. Would have been less painful to watch. (3) Michael of T doing the PA. Sadly, no reciting of Young Ones scripts.

Anything else? Yeah. I notice that we now have a drum in the TE. We already have a mascot. What’s the betting we start coming out to “Let Me Entertain You” by Blobby Williams in future? And you wait when they make KM all-seater at £30 a game….

So, was it worth it? Well, I suppose I did see us win a cup game. Which is more than can be said for all those who turned up to Exeter last week 😉

In a nutshell: When’s the draw?