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Stable mate

Given that this week has been one giant orgasm over playing Exeter next Saturday, we practically forgot that we had a game in the FAT to overcome. Mind you, half the time during Suburb of South London 2 Suburb of Luton 1 I thought that we were down the M4 already.

I suppose I ought to mention Exeter, as I’ve been pretty quiet this week. They should win, and in all truth probably will. What I want to hear is that we played out of our skin, gave them the shock of their lives and came away with our heads held high.

Actually, what I really want to hear is for us to win 5-0 with a performance that will shock the entire footballing world. I want to see a full packaged DVD of our victory, a testicle-blowing first round proper draw and for Franchise to realise what a bunch of cunts they are and withdraw from the competition immediately. I wouldn’t like Franchise fans to realise what pointless accidents of birth they are by jumping in front of a train though. After all, I might be on it, and I do like to get to my destination on time.

The reaction at the draw has been what you would expect. All the discussion seems to be what train to get (preferably one which doesn’t have suicidal Frenzies delaying the journey), how many tickets to buy, what station to get off at, what hotel to stay at and what filling in their Pret a Manger sandwich to have. Quite amusing really, speaking as one of the 124 of us at Sheff Weds, or one of the 96 at Everton in the Premiership. As somebody put it this week, it’s as though we’ve never had an away trip before.

Needless to say, I won’t be at SJP. I’m going to be here instead. And yes, I would like a match report please. Preferably of the game at Exeter.

Right, onto Dunstable. This had a distinct feel of after the Lord Mayor’s Show, even before the event had taken place. Considering this is a competition I think we could do well in, I don’t think I’ve experienced such a level of disinterest before. Maybe it was the distinct lack of people beforehand that did it? Not that those in the ground were totally focused.

The game seemed to represent the whole day. Once we got our goal in the first five minutes, that was it. And I don’t mean in a good way either. We seemed to be in no more than second gear most of the time, although clearly we were avoiding any and all sorts of injury.

The thing was, when we could be bothered, we pretty much soaked them with urine. Most notable in the first 10 minutes, and in sporadic periods in the second. Inbetween that though, it was a case of done that, let’s bugger off home for the X-Factor. And that is why Dunstable got into it too much for my liking. Play like that next week, and it’ll be our record defeat. Of course, we won’t do that…

The game? Very well. We scored through PB, after some rather nifty byline play by, erm…… was it D’insane or BB who did it? We laboured. They came back a little bit. We slumbered. I fell asleep. We got a penalty after D’insane was upended. He took it and scored for once. We thought it was over. We sat back. They scored. We woke up. And in truth, the game was pretty much dead after that.

Rivitted? No? Try reading the following…

Plus points: We won. In hindsight, quite comfortable in the end. Nobody obviously injured. Capable of going up that extra gear as/when required.

Minus points: Conceding. Defence.

The referee’s a…..: Umm, can’t really think of anything he did that pissed me off. Christ, this really must have been a low-key game.

Them: I know I’m going to be called disrespectful etc etc, but I really can’t be arsed to write much about them. Put it this way – no matter how much play they had, if they’d scored two we would have woke up and put two more past them. Oh, and their fans did MK chants.

Point to ponder: As you can tell, my enthusiasm for this game was tested at the best of times. How are we going to cope on Tuesday vs Dulwich Hamlet?

Franchise watch: Haven’t done one of these for a while, for depressingly obvious reasons. But hey, they lost 3-1 to Hereford and Martin Allen got sent off. Feel free to laugh long, loud and extremely heartedly. Of course, they’ll claim that they’ve got their big game coming up this week, and need to save themselves for that. And let’s be fair, they will probably see their team play a very good, competent game that will be worth their attendance. Just hope for their sake that Martin Jol doesn’t put out a youth team instead.

Actually, it’s been quite a good day away from SW19. Franchise lost, and so did Cardiff. Rumours are starting to abound that the Lebanese Hamas fundraiser may be scarpering. Wonder if he’s finally pocketed the money for Ninian Park? Let’s hope he accidentally ends up in Israel. Oh, and isn’t it nice to see Leeds United doing so well? Leeds is a horrible place at the best of times, even though it’s trying to reinvent itself with Virgin megastores and Harvey Nichols. It’s the sort of place that would look the same after a nuke. Won’t begin to describe the sub-human toxic waste at Elland Road, and that’s just in the boardroom.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Did Phillo yawn on the PA during the game? (2) Yet another one of those Form Follow Function series flags. Dons Online will show it no doubt, and probably the best one of the lot, artisticly speaking. How many flags in this series will there be if we reach the FAT final? Might have to hire out a whole stand at this rate.

Anything else? Not really. Nice to see a massive queue for the Exeter tix. Bit like old times at Selhurst, without the Sunday morning opening hours and the authorities not wanting you to bother turning up.

So, was it worth it? At least we’re in the draw

In a nutshell: Roll on Exeter.

And finally: As said above, I won’t be at SJP. In fact, this will be my last update until at least 31 October. Try not to fight each other while my back is turned.