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Rammed in the head

Sometimes, things happen for a reason. If I was to tell you that Rams 1 Taylor Mades 1 may be as season-defining as Bromley was on Wednesday, you would probably de-bookmark this site and send my contact details to the nearest funny farm.

On the surface of it, it’s two points dropped in the Most Important Week Of The Season. Cue gnashing, snarling of teeth and calls for DA to go, right? Well, strangely enough, no. Out of the four games in this vital period (Gravesend is a nice end-of-term bonus) this one was always likely to be the fuckup one.

The fact is, we didn’t play as well as we can do yesterday. This was certainly no Bromley or Aldershot. When we went 1-0 down, when we hit the post twice in one move, when we over-hit or under-hit set plays, when we just quite do it, you just knew it wasn’t going to happen. Same old tales, usual two-steps-forward-one-step-back routine.

But when Darlo’s shot inadvertantly hit DG’s head and deflect into the net, perhaps that’s a sign? Last season, or even a couple of months ago, I would be complaining about how shit everything was, and how horrible it was that we lost. Right now, nobody’s complaining too much.

Did Lady Luck much smile on us? At the time, it felt more like unbuttoned she’d the top of her shirt, bent over measuredly and gave us a knowing wink. But to me that was just reward for having to go to the damn venue in the first place.

The actual game itself wasn’t too much to write home about, although we did well in the conditions, but there is some other stuff. Read on…

Plus points: We didn’t lose. Potential banana skin avoided. DG returning. DG nominally scoring. Kept pressing.

Minus points: We didn’t win.

The referee’s a……..: Fuck me, did he want to get out alive or what? If I’m being polite and neutral, he seemed to let the home side get to him with their vociferous discussions with him. In other words, he shit his pants.

What the papers say: I picked up a copy of the Isle of Thanet Gazette. Here’s what was going on with the Margate fun/games. Draw your own conclusions.

On a lighter note, their over-excitable assistant manager Danny Ward supplied us with the quote of the week. I really am saying nothing:

“I thought [AFCW] were the best side we’ve played this season. We were holding on by our fingernails when Shaun Welford went through in the last five minutes and should have scored.

“I keep reading on websites they’re a bit like us – either good or rubbish, with no in between”.

Them: Timewasted about 25 minutes before the end, up to our goal for some strange reason. Their manager and coaching staff were, cough, “over-excited” and their players had a nice little way of intimidating the ref. Miserable ground, miserable atmosphere, Somme-esque pitch. Vastly over-priced refreshments. Shit floodlights. Fans charmingly singing “you’ll get a boot wrapped around your head” at us, from behind the safety of a few stewards naturelment. And it’s in Kent. All this made DG’s goal even sweeter.

To be fair, they did have the security situation under control this time, and as far as I know nothing untowards happened afterwards. And had they done this a year ago they would have had far more of us there. Still, their loss.

EDIT: The crossed out stuff was the original text written on Saturday night. Since I wrote that I found out that one of our photographers was hit in the back by a guy from the home end running 20 yards into the directors box, with the stewards apparently doing/caring fuck all about it. I kept it in to show that I was prepared to give the benefit of the doubt. Quite simply now, I can’t be arsed.

I put the newspaper link up above deliberately, and here’s why. I’m fed up of Ramsgutter pleading innocence, of “poor old us”. I’m fed up of their chairman claiming that people are blackening his club’s name. The fact our snapper was unhurt is irrelevant – it was a massive breach of security and directly affected a professional doing his job. We all know what the fallout would be if it was at KM, with an AFCW fan doing the same to the Ramsgutter club photographer.

If the Gutter chairman wants to know why people are having a go at his club, it’s because of the incidents at our game last season. It’s because of what allegedly happened at Margate. It’s potentially serious incidents like yesterday. There is a good reason why Gutter are being victimised. It’s because they’re cunts.

“But we put in CCTV yesterday and got police in” they will doubtlessly claim. Great. So why did Ramsgate police fuck off half-way during the first half? Does keeping them for 90 minutes cost more? Why was there a more noticable feel of aggression in the second half after they’d gone? Left in the hands of stewards who would probably join in the fighting given half the chance? That’s the impression they give me, certainly.

And what of these troublemakers, the Ramsgate ICF (Inbred Cock Farmers)? Don’t tell me – they’re a tiny minority, they’re not real Ramsgate fans. Bollocks. They seem to get about 3-400 regularly, though 200s aren’t unusual. And how many of their toxic waste by-products are there? 25? 50? That’s not a “tiny minority”. Yeah, yeah, I know they’re probably hangers on, and they only turn up for the big games. But guilt by association, as it does with every other club with an “element”. And again, I bet that their money is quite welcomed. Ooooh, wait, I’m blackening Ramsgutter’s name. Fuck off.

Fuck Ramsgutter. Fuck their excuses. Fuck their ground. Fuck their stewards. Fuck their on-the-cheap attitude. Fuck their chairman who goes on about banning people, pleading for leniency and then not allegedly bothering to answer emails from AFCW fans last season. Not your fault, Ramsgate? Course it fucking is. The fact that it was OUR local police contingent that had to chase after the alleged assaulter yesterday says it all. Did the Ramsgutter stewards help? By the sound of it, they were probably laughing their heads off.

And I suppose they’ll blame us. They probably think we should just shut up and take it. Yeah, you’re right. We’re their milk cow, a punchbag for their own inadequacies. Did you know many of them think we’re gloryhunters? Ah, I really feel fake for not supporting a tinpot club with tinpot ambitions, who like to be pure and real. Until we come along of course, then they drop their knickers and screw us for our money. I can’t wait until we finally get out of this league and leave shit like Ramsgutter behind. Ooooh, I’m being a gloryhunter again. Cunt stains.

As for their hoolies, I think they need to do something more useful with their time. Develop new skills, like learning how to dress unaided, or how to wipe themselves after a shit. Or learn something they’ve never know before, like who their real fathers are.

The league ought to stop pussyfooting around with Ramsgutter and tell them this – any more trouble and that’s it : ground closure and points deduction. If the club won’t sort themselves out, the league should do it for them. And if they don’t like it, tough shit. Quit their club, sell the ground off for housing as far as I care. I’m certain there’ll be plenty of us willing to help lay the first brick….

(and for the record, I am now in two minds whether I want to go back there again. Chances are I will, but that’s only because I think it will punish our side. Cutting your nose, and all that. But if I was prepared to accept that promotion may not happen this season, I would kill for it now)

Point to ponder: Is it true that if we beat Chelmsford on Tuesday we go something like second or third?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The pitch. If the Germans had attempted to invade Britain in the second world war, and ended up in Ramsgate, Southwood would have been a big war grave right now. (2) Kent International Airport. Why? It makes Knock airstrip West of Ireland International airport look like Heathrow. (3) Big “Keep Out” sign painted on the side of the stand. Hardly a way to welcome visiting supporters, somehow. (4) How many players called “Schultz” did Ramsgutter have? Must have been at least nine. Certain the referee was a relative….

Anything else? Yeah. About 50 Wombles singing “Happy Birthday” to El Presidente himself, Sir Richard of Guy. And take your hat off when you say that name. He looked a bit, well, sheepish…

So, was it worth it? At least I’ll never complain about going through Mitcham again.

In a nutshell: Now, these Chelmsford type chappies…