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18 points stolen

You know, no matter how hard you try to expect the worst, no matter how tough you make yourself, when the shit hits the fan it hurts like fuck. This isn’t a hurt insofar as having your bollocks scraped with barbed wire. This is more a hurt of victimisation, a hurt of humiliation and perhaps more than that, a hurt of stroke-inducing outrage.

As it stands now, you can go into administration, you can pay off people illegally, you can tap people up, you can cause riots, indeed anything like that. And you will still be punished less than what we were today. Come to think of it, you could run onto the pitch at a game, rape the referee in full view of the Ryman committee and still get away with less than what we got today.

Bitter? Yes. Angry? Absolutely. Full of desire for the nastiest revenge going? Guilty as charged. Yet again we have been right royally fucked up the arse in the worst way possible. And quite simply I’m sick of it. I’m sick of the FA turning football into a joke. I’m sick of glorified drinking clubs like the Ryman clinging to their rulebook and ignoring any and all degrees of common sense. I’m sick of the po-faced bureaucrats with tiny minds and even tinier dicks treating the game like they are custodians with complete wanton contempt. I’m sick of the authorities in football being as untouchable and God-like as the medical profession (probably THE most untrustworthy and closed-shop professionals going). But most of all, I’m sick of being frustrated at how powerless we are against these arseholes. People who rape kids get more of a say.

Here’s the charge, if you can bear to read it. £400 fine plus costs. Piddling, isn’t it? We raised that in bucket collections in just two hours. But now the stinger. 18 points. That’s eighteen points. Read it again and again. Eighteen points. Six victories wiped out just like that. Why? Please, tell me why? Oh yeah, I forgot, we forgot to complete properly a vague looking form to get international clearance for a player who had been retired six months previously. And when I put it in its starkest terms it makes it even worse.

I didn’t think it would be possible for me to be even angrier than I have been the past two weeks. But I am. I really cannot put into words what I feel about the Ryman, because there are deflamation laws prohibiting me. Suffice to say, I believe that many of them can’t even dress themselves unaided.

Think about it. Our season has now been ruined because of god knows how many dribbling old farts who wonder why mail to Rhodesia and Abyssinia gets returned. No doubt they’ll claim that they’re upholding the integrity of the league, that good housekeeping is tantamount to the sense of fair play. Fuck off. They’re jobsworth old men who need the powertrips. What basis does having this kind of punishment for this crime serve? I can understand if we’ve defrauded people with intent. I can understand it if we’d paid off referees. But a clerical error? I’d like to see what admin mistakes the Ryman Commission have made in the past. Probably more than what we’ve been hung for.

I want us to get real nasty with the Ryman now, I’ve had enough. Individually, there are plenty of things I’d like to see us do. Unfortunately, it will involve the Terrorism Police getting involved. Anyone who wants to do anything better do it off their own back and claim dimished responsibility afterwards. Think plenty of our fans would show the same level of condemnation as motorists do to that letterbomber right now. But even little things help.

Initially, I think the club should withdraw every bit of co-operation with the RP that it can get away with. Fuck it, what else can they do? Deduct 30 more points off us? On second thoughts, don’t tempt them. Remove all Ryman league boards from the ground, refuse to publish their adverts in the programme. Snub their functions, become a constant pain in the arse at league meetings. Do we get our paper from Ryman? Go to Tesco or Staples instead. Give a lifetime ban to RP officials from KM – and the very same people who have fucked us over today. And make sure they damn well know why. The thought of cunts like Turvey shitting themselves as they have to go into the home ends at KM is a smigeon of payback.

Obviously, don’t give the R1S clubs who were representing the Ryman today ANY money whatsoever, unless they come out publicly and say that they voted against the 18 points. Kneejerk? Spoilt? Yeah, we are. They deduct 18 points off us, we deduct our spending habits at their places. Trust me, this and the bad publicity we should give will hurt them a lot.

I won’t go so far as to say boycott away games this season, or indeed in the RP. In fact, I would suggest we turn out more than ever. Let’s be honest, the team really need us now, they must be as hurt as we are. They’ve been effectively denied the chance to go up because of some draconian old fart who stinks of gin and piss. I wonder how many RP sides themselves have been checking their player registrations with a slight sweat in the past two weeks? From what I can gather, there’s been a bit of a split between the clubs and Turvey anyway over the restructuring. We might have more allies in our division than we think, which will explain why there hasn’t been any notable “haha” at us yet. Remember, it deffo can happen to them now.

In the meantime, I hope the club are preparing their appeal as we speak. In fact, I’m sure they will. OK, I’m sure we’d all it a bit stronger than “the board of AFC Wimbledon is very disappointed with this outcome and intends to consider the options available to it” but you know this ain’t going to be the last of it.

What will that mean? Firstly, unlike the FA we are allowed to appeal. Good of them. I’m not holding out for much because Alty got told to fuck off themselves after an appeal. It’s after that when I hope that the club and Jim Sturman QC are discussing right now. Whether it will involve the CAS (which we can do after all other options have been exhausted) or even the infamous Rule K I don’t know. But we must take this all the way. I would be extremely disappointed – perhaps to a point of unforgiveness – if we didn’t. Even if we don’t get any joy this season, I want those points back. I can handle an 18 point head start next season. Christ, Spurz committed worse and got away with it…..

As for the “rules are rules” people, two words. Fuck off. Three more words. Go fuck yourself. A further seven words. Go fuck yourself with a rusty knife. This is the equivalent of being thrown in jail for three months for forgetting to pay your parking fine. Perhaps we should introduce that law and hope anyone responsible gets done for it? Yeah, it would be unfair and totally disproportionate. But hey, “rules are rules”, you say it yourself. Oh wait, you’re not so keen on that phrase now? How odd….

Those who say we should take our punishment on the chin are sages, and who do exactly what they’re told. Never questioning why the rules are as they are, just that they’ve got to be obeyed. It may be “how football works”. Well, if that’s how football works I hope it dies painfully tomorrow. Not grassing on agents is how football works. Turning a blind eye to tapping up players is how football works. Allowing blatant cheating in the form of “gamesmanship” is how football works. Cast your minds back to how football fans were treated by the authorities (and still are). That’s how football works. And that’s why it needs to get the kicking of its life from somebody, somewhere. And soon.

As Roy Keane put it, dead fish always swim with the flow. Football is full of dead fishes, and the Ryman’s verdict is that of a load of dead haddock being washed up stream. Chained to the rulebook much like the dead haddock are chained to the stream of the water. Thank christ that AFCW is busy flapping its tail and thinking “bollocks to this…..”

One thing above all else. Even if we don’t get one point back off those bastards, and we get further punishment, I just want to see at least one little speck of Ryman League and FA blood slithering on the floor…….