Well done AFCW, congratulations are in order. No, I insist. Rounds of applause all round after today. Come on everyone, put your hands together for Reggie Savage 2 Randy Savage 1. This wins the award for the most fantastic bullet-to-the-foot moment in the entire season. And to think I recovered sufficiently enough (see last report) to go today.
And I would almost be laughing, if it wasn’t for the fact that we should be two points nearer to Chelmsford but are instead one point further adrift right now. That fucking hurts me to write that, and I hope everyone involved at AFCW is hurting the same if not more
Honestly, I can’t remember our support being so stunned and then so outright fucked off afterwards (reportedly TB had a little “word” with a supporter about Danny Webb’s substitution afterwards). You get results like Torquay where you’re not expected to win. You can and do get games like Folkestone and Billy Ricky where it doesn’t happen, and you just shrug your shoulders. But today is inexcusable.
For those blissfully unaware, we scored first through the Cue. For some reason we sat back and let them come at us, a bit like the first 15 minutes of the Wealdstone game. But they weren’t that good at all and we were good enough to net another – it was that sort of performance where a second goal would have killed it off.
And guess what happened in the second half? We fucked up. And I mean, absolutely fucked up. Reggie Savage netting twice, no less. Remember him? You do now – shame he wasn’t that effective when he was with us, but these things happen. If we were due a bad performance, I can live with it. And we’ve had some games when we haven’t quite been there. But I do not recall walking out in a worse mood today than I have all season.
Today was 100% our fault. When we went 1-0 up we were good enough to kill the game off and ride out any further pressure. But we didn’t. Swifts weren’t all that, but right now they’ve taken three fucking points off us. Or more accurately, we let them have three points. Be our guests, we don’t want automatic promotion anyway – far better to have two games at KM to have extra bar revenue. I won’t make any excuses because there are none to be made. We have played very well the last few games, we have been doing what I expect as standard. We cannot claim a loss of form for today because that’s absolute bullshit.
Why did today happen? Because we got over-confident. Actually, that’s too mild an expression. We were too cocky. We were too big-headed. We thought (and not for the first time this season) that we were home and dry, and we just need to turn up and get the three points. AFC Wimbledon, meet Planet Fucking Earth, don’t think we’re aquainted that much.
It always happens doesn’t it? A couple of good wins, and the talk of “we need to get out of this division” and the inevitable talk of life in the Conference South pops up again. Every single time. I’m sick of it, but I’m not sure if I should expend my energy over saying it. I know damn well nobody at AFCW will listen. I know damn well that at least once more this season I will be thinking the exact same thoughts as I was at 4.50pm (and a great deal of other people as well). I know damn well we’ll go on another good couple of games undefeated and then we’ll slip up again through our usual over-confidence.
Yeah yeah, we all think we’re higher than what we should be. Yeah yeah, even after today Chelmsford are still catchable. We won’t of course, because once again our collective hugely inflated ego will again get the better of us and our attitude will go to shit. Are we good enough? Yes and no. Yes, because when we play as we can, with our attitude right, we can beat anyone in this division. And I genuinely mean it.
But no, because we haven’t got the mental capability to have that misplaced arrogance and still go out and win. Manchester United can be cocky SOBs but they also have the best work ethic. AFCW can be as cocky as that but don’t have the ability to focus. It doesn’t have the ability to get down and play, overcome some tricky spells and muller teams after their resistance breaks. It has a rather impressive ability to believe its own hype though, as we saw today. One point further adrift tonight, isn’t it? Just thought I’d remind everyone.
And you know what else? No doubt this Thursday we’ll be in front of Nuts TV spanking our cocks over how we’re getting a half-hour on national telly each week. Be honest, it’s really adding to our inflated sense of worth isn’t it? As if our big head isn’t big enough. Look at us, look at us, we’re on telly. Yeah, and we know what happens next. Torquay all over again, isn’t it? Look, there’s whatshisface and thingymugic. Don’t we look lovely in those crowd shots? Why aren’t we in the Conference then?
Quite simply, we’re not in the Conference because of days like today. And we’re going to remain in the Ryman Premier all the while AFCW collectively continues to disappear up its own ultra-self-important arse. I don’t mind if we’re crap and we don’t win (well, actually I do but that’s beside the point). What I object to is being the team with far more ability to win throw it away due to acting all casual and Billy Big Bollocks. Today should really have been a banker – no disrespect to Heybridge, but they’re down the bottom for a reason.
I’ve always maintained it’ll be our attitude that will make or break our season. Unfortunately I got my answer today, and if I’m being honest it’ll be the same answer that will be given at least once more this season. I’m hoping it won’t be in the two playoff games that we should be involved in. But unlike Barack Obama, I don’t believe in hope…
Plus points: At least we can get it out of our system on Tuesday.
Minus points: I’m not writing out everything I’ve just said above again.
The referee’s a…..: Not going to blame him for anything, even if he did something wrong. Yup, my mood is that bad.
Them: Fair play to them, they did to us what WFC did to so many cocky teams in the good old days. You could have put money on Reggie Savage netting at least once though. Surprised they didn’t mention they had the Plough Lane turnstiles this time (probably thought we’d nick them). Rumours still abound they might be moving to Maldon (a better ground) and maybe even merging with them. Oh, and whatever happened to the Swift Chicks? Remember them? The four female dance/cheerleading troupe last season that made plenty of men happy (and others downright uncomfortable)? Presumably for family entertainment reasons they have to employ virgins, and last season they were down to the last four u-15 girls in the area who were in that category.
Point to ponder: Who wants to go up automatically anyway? Seriously, the more I try to analyse this result the more pissed off I feel. Got a feeling TB’s patience has snapped though – his little “discussion” with an irate fan afterwards said that Webb missed two open goals (whether he did or not I don’t know, I think Swifts’ defence might have had a say) was the first I’ve been aware he’s done that sort of thing. Normally he’s mild mannered enough whenever he’s in public. In addition, read his comments on the OS tonight:
“In midfield we didnâ€™t look lively or bright enough, and this has happened too many times. Every time we start a good run we trip up and land on our faces. One or two of my players need to learn some lessons quickly.
â€œIf I can make some changes for the game against Margate on Tuesday I will do. If I look at good performances today I can really only limit those to Luke Garrard and Chris Hussey, and no-one else comes to mindâ€.
Pretty strong stuff, eh? For the record, I hadn’t read his comments before I launched into my diatribe(s) above, but I’m glad he agrees with me over our consistency (lack thereof)
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The bookie in the Heybridge bar before the game. Presume he was a local bookie who was making a few extra quid while having a nice pint or two. Shame he wasn’t offering odds on AFCW losing….. (2) Speaking of the Heybridge bar, it does say something about the level we’re at when a sizeable amount of the home support were actively watching the Brum v Arse game. And I mean, actively watching. You do realise that for many if not most clubs at this level (and if truth be told, CS as well) real support is actually quite small and it’s the surrogate Arse/West Aaam etc fanbases that keep them ticking over. Which, with all due respect, makes results like this doubly hard to stomach.
Anything else? Yeah. Highlight of the day was the creation of a brand new music festival, SwiftFest. Basically, it involves about 5 or 6 blokes in the car park after the game waiting for the traffic to die down, but with one car sound system blasting out heavy metal from the likes of Drowning Pool and Veruca Salt. Did lead to one rather nervous looking honorary club president and one AFCW PA guru saying “if there’s swearing I can’t play this on the tannoy”. Beats coppers trying to shut down the sound system anyway. Ambience was right for such a music fest though (middle of a field in rural Essex, trees for a bog and the light starting to dim), and you’ll be glad to know nobody tried a moshpit. We’re too old….
So, was it worth it? Do not even begin to ask that question.
In a nutshell: Cock