Rumour mill

Looks like the well known disease, described by scientists as Premiershipius Muchwonga Greedybastardi, has spread over to Norway : as mentioned yesterday, Freddy Kjolner has rejected a move to us because the £150,000 a year we will offer to him is simply “not enough”, and he says something like it’s not worth his family coming over or something. Currently, FK is on £70k a year for playing for Valarenga – and he’s not even a full time professional.

Now what other profession can you do do part-time, undertake no work whatsoever, have no accountability to anyone and earn £70k in the process? Apart from being the leader of Merton Council? Anyway, fuck him, we’re now after the other Valarenga CB – his name is Knut Haroldsen, who’s a former Norge U-21, currently 22, reported to be pretty good and, to cap it all off, he’s 6’5 or something. I doubt if money will be much of a problem, but I think getting height clearance from Heathrow Airport might be another problem, especially if he jumps for the ball with Duncan Ferguson.

Looks even more likely that Sully is on his way – we’ve sent another fax over to Drillo’s Love Child’s club (Stabekk or whatever it’s called), this time we’ve offered £700,000 and still Stabekk want about £1m. Christ, obviously Stabekk think that they’re a Premiership club…..

Other news: the Soton manager, Dave Jones (wasn’t he in the Monkees?) was today arrested and questioned on charges of “historic” child abuse, namely they may have found out that he did something to someone he shouldn’t have about 10 years ago, and are bringing him up now. Coincidentally, Jones is known to be a “keen admirer” of Jason Euell, and apparently has been for some time. Not too far back I hope, and I certainly hope he meant his football skills.