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Before I go on, two things: one, there has literally been nothing to report on the last two days, and as yesterday (25th) was my birthday anyway, I decided to have a night or two off. Secondly, some child abuser thinks it’s very very funny to post on the Chat Site under my name. Now, having a chat facility is very handy, lots of sites have one, and I use it in case I can’t/won’t update the site, it’s very good for stuff like that. What I don’t like is people taking the piss – I may pull the plug on it if it starts getting like the OS, and I don’t particularly want to do that. Additionally, if I do find out who does this sort of thing, rest assured I will take measures that will ensure that you won’t want to do it again……..

Ben Thatcher wants to play for England, and when he’s a Wimbledon player. Honest. I suppose that those Class A drugs that.. [censored on behalf of the vice squad] ….Merson has totally fucked Ben’s mind up. Wimbledon player playing for England? Next you’ll be saying that Alex Ferguson will be blaming the weather at Shite Tart Lane for losing there…

Story over the weekend about a blonde Norwegian girl (aren’t they all?) having mad passionate exchanges of bodily fluid with Jason Euell have risen their ugly head (fnar). She claims that she was naive, and not too experienced in that sort of thing and she admires Jason’s ability to penetrate in tight holes. Of course, since that incident, Jason has been totally unable to find his way in the box and lob accurately, but I’m reliably informed that there are pills readily available for that nowadays.

Our very own version of Darren Anderton (minus the as-yet-unreported bestiality conviction), one Gareth “Wild Thang” Ainsworth is back in training. When he did his one man demolition job of Newk, he apparently came back too soon (back to Jason Euell again), fucked his groin again and has spent another 6 weeks sidelined. Anyway, he reckons he should be OK in a couple of weeks, and with luck he’ll be skinning defences everywhere again in the none-too-distant future. Anyone who remembers how he played away at Smog Central last year (after a 6 month layoff) when totally unfit will testify that this guy is good.

Meanwhile, QPR want Jon Goodman to solve their goalscoring problems. Wonder if they’d take a chance on a cripple who’s not been performing well for a long while? Oh I forgot, they did sign Vinny…….