Skip to content

Gossip Right, let’s nip this in the bud NOW. John Hartson is happy at Wimbledon. Got that? Does any more from his agent or Lars need to be said? In case you didn’t know, JH’s agent says that our striker is very happy at WFC, and Lars has commented that if the Welsh Wizard is unhappy, then he would like to see him when he is happy. So, George Graham, fuck off and buy Collymore. He’s expensive and glamourous enough for you, stop sniffing round here like a junkie outside a crack factory.

Brian Kidd’s been elbowed from Blackburn, which could mean one thing : Our Greatest Ever Manager will be making a monumentous comeback to show the footballing world his legendary motivational skills and tactical prowesses that kept us free from relegation since 1764. Yes, that’s Joe “I Miss Football And Football Misses Me” Kinnear we’re talking about.

And who knows, he could get the job and take people like REMBE, Neil Ardley etc up there with him. Already, Blackburn fans want him for his motivational qualities and his legendary passion (though how he’ll cope without Terry Burton telling him what a football is is of course open to interpretation), so obviously the Ewood Park side must be even more fucked than first thought.

Never mind, Blackburn will soon be treated to OGEM’s master tactics of buying midfielders by the dozen, telling his teams to defend after going 1-0 up after 2 minutes and basically larging it up in the bars of Blackburn whenever he can. Oh, and bottling three (count ’em, three) in the space of two years. Michael Herd of the Substandard will be licking his arse every step of the way (“one of the true greats of modern football is back in the game”, I bet that’s one of the first things he’ll write) no doubt, and even a 0-0 draw against Crewe will be seen as OGEM’s masterful defensive qualities putting to shame Drillo’s out of date long ball zonal crap (I’ll stop now shall I?). One snag may be JK’s reluctance to leave Norf Lundun for deepest Lancashire. Actually, that shouldn’t be a problem at Ewood – there are suburbs (if suburbs is the right word for a place with the same population as the London Borough of Merton) in Blackburn called Mill Hill and Islington (yes, really). He’ll fit in just fine. Reserves played tonight at Charlton, no idea what the score is but apparently Kjetil Waehler played. Hope Lyn got the tracksuits……..