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Summer speculation

Ah, donta just love summer? Hot, sunny days, nice strolls in the park, barbeques on the lawn? And fucking ants and my neighbour deciding to play Kiss FM until 4am in the morning. Very loudly. Bastard. Anyway, summer means nowt going on at WFC. Or so we think.

The press are full of Johnathon Barnett’s shit stories. This past couple of days, we have had Euell, Cort and JH as “certs” to go, along with Thatch. Now, I’ll deal with Cort and Euell later, but JH has reportedly been linked to Spurz (wow) and – wait for it – Charlton. Yeah. Maggie’s been linked with West Ham and – well, I’ll give you a clue, they’re based in N17. Now, the fact that there is so much talk of our players going to one club is too much to be coincidental, which makes me believe that somebody has wormed their way into WHL who’s been trying to disrupt the club. Who? Well, I won’t name names, but I bet Alan Sugar is glad he’s came.

Now, Cort and Euell. As ever, part of me wants them to fuck off, part of me wants them to slum it out with us next season. I’m teetering between the two schools of thought at the moment, and I won’t be 100% satisfied whatever happens to them. I won’t bother repeating what the two McDonalds helpers rejects said, but here it is in a nutshell : they’re POed at being first division players, and the only way they’re going to play international football – which they soooooo richly deserve, of course) – is by leaving the club they’ve just helped relegate.

Now, I won’t bother repeating anything that I’ve said already. But I can really see a Van Hoodwink situation occuring here – as mentioned here on 1st June, DB (the guy who does the buying and selling of players) has said that nobody under contract is leaving. So really if we’re true to our word, Cort and Euell will have to slum it out for another three years with the club that they hate. Both of them are big time charlies, and rather than be professional about it, you know that if forced to stay, they’ll just do a major strop. Reserves to follow? Don’t know, but if the Van Hoodwink saga was anything to go by, expect both of them never to be heard of again in about 2 years time. We live in hope.

REMBE may well be offered to stay – biiiig mistake. Remember, this guy may well be a “living legend”, but his constant sniping last year seems to make many people distrustful of him. After all, judging by what he’s done in the past, if TB wants to layeth the smacketh down, and REMBE doesn’t approve, I wonder how long it will be before we will read an article in the ESS stating how “the players” have lost all confidence in TB? Best to get shot of him, my memory is way too long to want to see him wearing Tiny again next year.

Speaking of media whores, one J Fashanu is another one who seems to be using his “Mr Wimbledon” tag to slag off the club he supposedly loves. He’s getting on TB’s case, calling him a “youth team coach”, although bearing in mind most of our squad act like 15 year olds, perhaps that may not be such an inaccurate description. None the less, Fashanu seems very bitter that he wasn’t even considered for the WFC post. Well, let’s compare the credentials of Fashanu and TB shall we?

OK then, TB has bought through the legendary Arsenal back 4, he’s done wonders for our youth team, he made OGEM look like OGEM, he’s nurtured people like Sully and Perry, he’s extremely well respected etc etc. Fashanu? Bunking off training to do TV shows isn’t exactly going to help your case in becoming a manager is it? Case closed. Coincidentally, ever wondered why Fash is only now starting to act like he is? Somebody has suggested that he is nothing more than the Lebanese Asset Stripper’s media mouthpiece : remember, SH’s reputation is mud, so he’s using his more media-friendly associates to snipe at us now. Cheers Fash, you were one of my favourite players once.

Interesting news from our most professional owner since 1981 : BRG has stated in the Norge press (thanks once again to the ever-reliable Claes Thure Moberg) that “the upcoming weeks will be used to evaluate what is good for WFC and for MFC. MFC is said to need a bigger troop and reinforcements from WFC would be welcome.”

Now, it’s thought that the not-so-popular Nog contingent at WFC are thought to be returning to Norway – I mean Dry Martini, Andreas Lund, Kjetil and TP, but Lund has stated that he wants to stay, not too sure about the others, but they seem to like it here enough to stay as well. What nobody has twigged is that they don’t necessarily have to be Norge players either – maybe we’ve finally found somewhere to get shot of Leaburn and Roberts? Hey, even Cort and Euell. Nah, Molde will want decent players…

The obviously shite methods that Drillo tried to install at WFC have clearly failed – Norway disasterously beat Italy 1-0 using the same primitive tactics that were 100% down to WFC getting relegated this season. Trond came on in the last half an hour, and apparently did nothing wrong. In fact, Ceefax South East reckon he’ll even play as Norway’s regular right back during E2000. Can’t see that somehow, but still, if he becomes the first WFC player to start at E2000, I won’t complain.

Anyway, he’s Norwegian, and he’s at Wimbledon, so obviously he’ll leave, won’t he? Er – “Trond Andersen is quoted to have said that he does not want to go back yet. He has played for five years in Molde and feels that he is finished with that. If WFC should state that they does not need him he wants to move to another club in England, prefferably in the Premier League. . Thanks to Claes for that one.

Oh, and one more story today – we’ve been linked with Ian Walker. I won’t even begin to dignify that rumour with a comment.