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In the Stocks


Good grief – I thought we never had these sort of matches these days. For those at Cunty 2 Genitalia 2 was a rather depressing step back in time. Witness : the game was one of the worst I’ve seen for a l–o–n–g while, all the fluid passing, penetrative and combative style seemed to have gone. It was FUCKING cold, stood on a terrace, my lunch consisted of what can best described as Westler’s Rubber Sole and some cola substitute complete with cheap sherbert, and realising to myself “why am I here?”. The game? Oh yeah, we went 1-0 down, then we equalised through Wu Tang. Half time came and went, we scored thru Trond then they equalised. And, er, that was about it. What else can I say about the game? Er. Um. Well, you see, ur, it was, well, you know.

Oh fuck it, here goes:

Plus points: Well, one point is better than 3. And I can now say I’ve visited Stockport. 58 grounds down, only another 34 to go.

Minus points: Turning up. Kelvin’s handling. Wild Thang getting kicked and going off. That’s him gone for the next 2 years.

Dump: Stockport.

Point to ponder: Why is it that the local Labour club next door to the ground (had to pay to get in, though hopefully my money won’t go to any political organisation) has the not very socialist Sky TV showing?


Disappointing: (1) The away turnout, as can be seen above. Bit wanky isn’t it? Those who went did well as usual, though a crap game, cold conditions and a terrace sans roof doesn’t exactly make things heaving. (2) The team performance. We are not playoff material. Recognise this fact.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Realising that I actually went from SW19 Towers to Berkshire today. (2) Realising that I actually continued on the journey to Stockport. (3) After the game, David Barnard saw me, put his arm around me then decided to playfully punch me in the stomach. Why? Have I upset WFC that much? (4) Seeing Scottish males in kilts. In deepest Berkshire.

Quotes: (1) “Looking at this, I still reckon that you could have redeveloped Plough Lane” – the C.U-N Womble, making his, er, triumphant return to the SW19 Quotes section. I think the little “p” word is a valid reason…… (2) “I don’t think he’ll be wearing any gloves” – rather obtuse reference to the referee, who through birth deformity only has 1.5 hands. How tasteful…..

When in Maidenhead…. : If you see a P-reg black Renault Laguna with “Also In Black” written in teutonic-type lettering on the dirt on the back, the editor of this site has absolutely nothing to do with it. No way. Honest. 110% straight.

Come on, it was worth it, wasn’t it? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sorry, what was the question?

In a nutshell: We’ve got a **long** way to go…..