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Sheffield steel


Is the play-off dream still possible? Well, after Blades 0 Carving Knife 1 I’m starting to think a bit more positively about our chances. I have to say, we didn’t play particularly well, but it’s these grinding type displays that often separates the successful from the pseudo. Or something. Andy Roberts scored following a free kick from Neil Ardley, though really we could have gained a couple from Neilsen, Cooper, GarethAinsworth.Com and Wayne Gray (who made a superb run from the half way line, just placing his shot a couple of inches wide). Will we reach the playoffs? TBH, I doubt it, there were plenty of times last night when the words “season”, “end”, “fare” and “of” sprung to mind. Maybe it was the £18 that did it for me. Hmm. Still, I’m not complaining about a win…..

Shall we?

Plus points: We won. Away from the Cesspit. And without conceding a goal. Defence played well (though they had to, see “minus points”). Good running from people like Neilsen and Wayne Gray.

Minus points: I’m sorry, but Andy Roberts and (especially) Neil Ardley are slow as fuck. Their lack of pace put our defense through more pressure than necessary.

Where to improve: Next season, Tezza, get two players for the midfield. One who can cross the ball, like Ardley can once in a while, and one who can play the Andy Roberts role. They have to have the pace and ability to get back to help our defense, which is what we DON’T have ATM. It cost us many a point last season, this season could have had similar consequences.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) GarethAinsworth.Com got mercilessly booed by the Sheff Utd fans. Everyone was perplexed, but I can now exclusively (ha ha) reveal that whilst playing for Port Vale, he did a tackle that ended Dane Whitehouses’ career. So now you know. Coincidentally, the Blades are trying to organise a benefit match for Whitehouse, which begs two questions. Why is it taking them so long to organise one and will GarethAinsworth.Com be invited? (2) Our record in Yorkshire this season. P 4 W 4 D 0 L 0 F 9 A 0. Suddenly, I start liking Yorkshire a lot.

Stewardwatch: OK then boys and girls, a little game for you. Out of the following words, which are most likely to cause offense to a Sheff Utd steward? (1) Fuck, (2) Cunt, (3) Bollocks, (4) Muppet. The answer is of course (4), the look the C.U.N.W got when he said the word “muppet” to a steward was somewhat evil. Methinks the steward had a little Kermit doll when he was a kid and it got mauled by next door neighbour’s dog. Hence the psychological problems. Also, this was the first time ever that I have been to a football match where photographs were discouraged…….


Obligatory shot of a football ground toilet in Yorkshire: Yes, the long awaited “worst toilet in the first division” competition is back. Please examine the er, stinkhole to your right. The beautifully peeling paintwork on the urinal, complete with sludge and fuck knows what else (not pictured, thankfully). A fine example of contemporary early 20th Century urinals. Whilst maybe not on a par with Barnsley, it is a fine relic to those used to brand new all-seater stadia what football attendance was REALLY like pre-Taylor report.

Quotes: (1) “Don’t die of a heart attack, ref” – the now expected tasteful comment made after the referee fucked up yet again. It’s more than my jobsworth to tell you who exactly said that…… (2) “£18? You’re not even a Premiership club” – another Womble outside Bramhall Lane. They were once, just like us….

Just thought I’d mention it: Keith Judas Curle is STILL a cunt. No, he didn’t actually do anything yesterday but hey, why waste a good opportunity?

So, was it worth it? Why yes, I think so.

In a nutshell: Do you think we’ll….. nah. Surely not.