And as sure as night follows day, as sure as light follows dark, as soon as the weather follows the news, as sure as…. (that’s enough). Sorry, Commuters 0 Railwaymen 3 was as…… hold on, that’s Commuters 3 Railwaymen 3.
Look, I think I ought to explain. We scored twice after 4 minutes. And don’t ask me who scored because I don’t know. Our first goal saw me negotiating the stairs between the turnstile and the concourse. The second goal saw me in the bog. And the third goal was down to Darren Foreman and the SP refreshment stall (ask Mr F, he’ll tell you). So really I have no tangiable report for you.
Oh yes, I definitely saw Crewe’s goals, bastards. But like fuck I’m going to explain in detail about them. Jesuz fucking christ, ask anyone sitting near me after the WFC third goal just what my mental state of mind was….
Not too sure if I have the will to live ATM, let alone the remainder of the game (the bits I saw) but here goes:
Plus points: Well, we scored three goals certainly.
Minus points: But we conceeded three goals as well.
Who, what, why, where, when? Oh jesuz, I don’t know. One thing is for sure, there are plenty of people currently unimpressed with Kelvin Davis. Indeed, some I know are of the opinion that the defense is shit for a lot of the time because of the inability of Davis to catch any crosses whatsoever. Me, I’m saying nowt.
Quotes: (1) “We need a new ground, a new manager, new owners who will put some money in, heated seats, topless waitresses” – somebody on their mobile after the game. Haven’t got the heart to argue that TB has done way better than expected this season AND the “throw money at new players” strategy is a great deal of the reason why we’re in the first division in the first place. (2) “FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK etc” – your humble and esteemed editor, after we went 3-1 up. Believe me, I was inconsoliable afterwards. Still am, come to think of it (3) “Please leave. Go to toilet, or go home, or anything” – the kind hearted generosity of those around me after said third goal was missed. I love you guys. No, really. (4) “Shit ground no lights” – the reason for the pic above was the Oval-esque temporary floodlights. Basically, the crappy electrical supply at SP buggered the floodlights up so they couldn’t be put on full power. Hence the costly hire of the temp lights. And this is at a ground which is the third biggest club in London. Jeez, sooner we leave this shit the better.
So, what does this do for playoffs?: Not much, I think we waved goodbye to them tonight. Burnley won, for starters.
It’s not all bad news though: Luton are down. Which means OGEM has relegated 2 clubs in one season. Pretty impressive. But none of it is his fault, oh no.
So then, was it worth it?: Well the radio said what a great game it was. Sadly I wasn’t so sure….
In a nutshell: Thank fuck my next report will be in July…….