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Udder crap


If I’d adopted Wimbledon FC’s attitude to this match report, I probably wouldn’t bother, as we’re so near to the end of the season, and who would care if I didn’t ? But seen as I’m so dedicated to you, the readers, here is the match report for Poodles 1 Terriers 1. The fact is, this was always going to be a game between a team that had f**k all to play for, and a team that was fighting against the drop. Southampton Vs Wimbledon last season I hear you say. In this respect, it wasn’t that surprising when we came out looking the better team. The first half came and went with few chances and no goal. However, Ainsworth gave us the lead shortly after the break, with a low volley that crept inside the far post. But typical of us lately, we decided to sit back a bit on the 1-0, and lo and behold, the opposition grabbed a fairly late equalizer, through Kevin Gallen after he looped the ball over a stranded Kelvin Davis.

Can I be bothered … go on then:

Plus points: We scored. We won a point with nothing to play for, and a number of top players missing from the team. Singing anti-Palace song at the CPFC office next to the Holmedale stand, where Simon Jordan was ‘apparently’ looking from the window.

Minus points: We surrendered a 1-0 lead, and finished 1-1 for the EIGHTH time this season. The attendance – apparently around 4,500, though I doubt it was even this, and that includes a good Huddersfield following. The pitch (see picture).

Quotes: 1) “Sorry mate, no pies left.” The chimp working at the food outlet in the Holmesdale. 2) “You c**t! F**k you! Innit!” The charming Thornton Heath local lass who, following me making a certain gesture after she beeped me when crossing the road in front of her car, pulled up beside me on the main road, and started shouting abuse. Bitch. Another reason why we gotta get out of this shithole. 3) “Oh Holloway you prick! It’s all your fault.” The Holloway hate club sat behind me, could be heard saying this sort of line every time the ball went near Holloway. Idiots.

Truth is stranger than fiction: The atmosphere at the game. Our supporters were cheering for Huddersfield towards the end of the match. All to piss of Palace of course. Also, Gareth Ainsworth’s superman impression. Those of you who remember the famous ‘head tackle’, this was better. Fully committed as usual, (REPD’s joke), threw himself to try and block the Huddersfield full-back. However, the Huddersfield player turned as Ainsworth charged in. The result being. Ainsworth flew through the air in what can only be described as superman-stylee, but without the arms in front. You had to be there to fully appreciate the beauty of it.

In a nutshell: This game was never really going to be important after Saturday, and so it proved this way. But it did have its amusing moments, and we didn’t do Palace any favours. Hoorah.

Was it worth it?: Yeah I suppose so. Altogether now … “Play up Pompey, Pompey play up.”