Hopefully back to normal with the updates – Dickie Bird 1 Turkeys 1 was practically a re-run of the Sheff Utd game for those who were too busy protesting then. And looking at it, it’s amazing how we have become so, well, ordinary. Certainly for the first 70 or so minutes anyway, we looked like a lower-to-mid-table outfit, and this despite having three internationals. Needless to say, it was no surprise that we went 1-0 down, our defense as usual just got torn apart whenever somebody has an attacking idea. However, to our credit, we did start to go up a gear and forced as much pressure at a game that I’ve witnessed for some time, certainly this season. Mind you, we had to wait until 3 minutes from time for Coops to net in an identical goal to the Sheff Utd game. Again, that was for those who were too busy protesting then.
So what? Well, IMO something ain’t right. We all know that Koppout’s shit is doing the team NO favours whatsoever, and anyone who seriously believes that a team isn’t affected by boardroom strife should look at so many teams who have gone down with disunity at decision-making level. However, some questions about Burton himself are being raised – had we lost yesterday we would no doubt be expecting a bit of “I blame the fans” shit. One thing is for sure, we ain’t going up.
Plus points: We drew. We scored. The way we forced our way back into the game was most excellent. Solid debut from Mild – even got himself booked 10 minutes in. Putting a few crosses in for a change.
Minus points: Our defense is still shit, even KC looks out of sorts. Burton taking Jobi off for no apparent reason (he got booed – TB not Jobi). Still look very ordinary.
Point to ponder: Do you think it was wise to play DC and KC so soon after returning from Tehran? I don’t.
Quotes: (1) “The Chesterfield spire is more bent than Peter Cork” – CUNW, after observing the architectural quirk in the Derbyshire town. (2) “Mattias is a greasy cunt” – CUNW again, this time giving his opinion on Mr Hauger. Kids, this is what drinking too much Guinness and other alcoholic beverages does to you. Stay sober 🙂 (3) “I once asked this vegetarian bird to give me a blow job – when I found out I told her to suck on a dildo” – the man known here as BJ discussing his favourite subject. No, we are NOT sexually repressed. Much. (5) “He’s got a heart of gold and the verbal diahorria of a goat” – BJ again on somebody else. Not footy related but very funny.
Quotes special – chants: (1) “Sing when we’re injured” – chant from us when the subdued Barnsley fans all suddenly found their voice when Kelvin went down crocked for two minutes. (2) “We all agree, Letterman’s better than Parky” – us giving our informed opinion on the transatlantic chat show host war. (3) “You can stick your Dicky Bird up your arse” – heard at Barnsley station. (5) “I’m in the mood for Francis, he dances, when he scores for the Wimbledon” – Nolans inspired chant for Damo. Hey, it’s better than singing “Timewarp” to him.
Fight, fight, fight: Forget the Lewis fight last night, here’s some real violence : (1) The mouthy as fuck Barnsley fans at Barnsley station. So mouthy that they (a) proved their hardness by hiding behind some coppers and (b) used a live railway line as some sort of barrier. Funniest of all though, the copper just physically shoved a couple of them. (2) The no doubt friendly stag-like butting of heads between X. Wiggins and two other fellow Wombles on the Barnsley-Sheffield bus on wheels. This led to some copy-cat rucks, including your humble editor being viciously assaulted by a man who was photographed by SW19 wearing a Hawaiian shirt coming back from Grimsby and a man who claims his sex life was represented in the Grimsby report. (3) If the last two incidents had a bit of banter to them, this certainly didn’t. For some reason, Brum were at Sheff Utd, West Brom were at Rotherham and we were at Barnsley (obviously). Us and the two Midlands sides congregated at Sheffield at the same time. You probably can guess the rest, though we didn’t get involved. Needless to say, a couple of Blades are probably still in hospital, a pub or two probably needs refurbishing and the police are doubtless claiming overtime. The most dumbest move of all was putting both Blues and Baggies on the same train going to New Street….
Correction: I have been advised that the report linking “I” to “T” at Grimsby is inaccurate. There has been NO blow jobs given, and the two persons involved are NOT who you think they are anyway. In fact, the initials I have given are incorrect anyway. Can you now stop threatening to kill me please, “I”?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Meeting a London Baggie coming back (who lives near me, go figure) and complained about having to travel long distances to watch shit. Funny, so do we. (2) The first 45 minutes. Probably not the worst 45 minutes ever by a WFC team but certainly not worth Â£16. Or Â£0.16. (3) Me, an extremely horny professional dominatrix (trust me, she really was extremely horny) and the 1824 Sheffield to London St Pancras full of sexually repressed WFC fans. You can guess the rest, but you’d probably be wrong 🙂
So, was it worth it? Probably not
In a nutshell: Don’t buy champagne for the promotion party this year