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Western front


Now that’s better – Boyzone 5 Westlife 0. We were always going to give somebody a good whipping, and the team from Woking were dressed in PVC, handcuffed to the bed, given 45 strokes with a leather strap and came out of the room two hours later with a satisfied grin and 3 tubes of cold cream. Ahem. OK, it wasn’t quite like that, but we did dominate pretty well, and all the alleged problems with Nicky English seem to be sorted. They played like a unit today, which was pleasing. Anyway, Lee Sidwell netted twice, and his second goal volley was pretty stunning. Mix of standard poke-ins and a good old-fashioned scramble was the order of the day. Isn’t it nice to be back?

As I must continue…

Plus points: Winning. 5-0. Keeping a clean sheet for once. Not going 2-0 down for once. Spirit was good. Attack looked a bit potent for once.

Minus points: Gareth’s Graham’s injury. Oh, and our defence is still asleep/shite.

The referee’s a …….. : OK as it goes, though he was shorter than me. Linesman seemed to enjoy the attention the Main Stand gave him.

Them: Doesn’t their goalie look like he’s going to be called up for the war in the Gulf?

Point to ponder (1): Why oh why oh why can we NEVER score more than 5 goals a game? I blame Koppel.

Woking watch: Yes, it was one year ago today (apparently) that Woking was pictured, ahem, slightly the worse for wear at Gillingham, subsequently spawning a new feature that went down very well with most people. Except his mum. Anyway, 365 days on, Woking is indeed a model of sobriety that all young persons exposed to such illit goods like alcohol, narcotics and pre-marital sex will look up to. We at SW19 salute him, and will not mention that he was holding a pint of lager.

Point to ponder (2): Why did a steward known to SW19 want a pic taken of him? Shouldn’t that be the other way round?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The Bradford fan who walked from SP to Kingstonian. Started at 9.30am, got to Ks at 2pm, would have been sooner but he got lost around Morden. Could have been dangerous. Coincidentally, anyone else see the irony of him walking around collecting money? (2) Your humble and esteemed editor calling a 3 year old a “fucker” in front of his dad. Oops. (3) How quiet were the West Bank? We can’t hear you up the hardcore Athletics End – personally, I think you’re all as soft as shite. (4) The steward nabbing the jaffa cakes of a certain player then claiming it was to “keep him healthy”. Er, right…

Franchise FC watch: Drew 2-2 with Bradford, but more importantly only drew 1100 odd. So, after the Brunswick spin machine was trying to tell people that the crowds were coming back, their second lowest attendance of the season came back to bite them in the arse. Ha.

What probably must suck big time for them is that they do have a good team (well, it was the one that Koppout scuppered – or at least tried to – last season) and their attendances are plummeting. In fact, with that attendance nobody from MK obviously bothered to come down either.

BTW, you’ve probably heard of the statue idea, which is a good place as any for Bucks based canines to perform bodily functions on. Because of image rights or something (embarrasment, more like), animal charactatures will be used instead of real players. So, what alternative life form to Koppout could represent him adequately? A snake? A dodo? A chameleon? A human being?

Anything else? Well, not really. It was comprehensive (and I haven’t had one drink yet)

So, was it worth it? Sure.

In a nutshell: Back on track…