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2 down, 3 up


Ruddy heck. If you had forgotten what football can do to you, then Rock N Roll 3 Cheese Roll 2 jogged your memory and probably your ticker as well. If you remember the games last season (as was pointed out to me somewhat prophetically after we went 2-0 down last nite) and games like the West Ham/Villa 4-3 victories all them years ago, it was like that. Now, euphoria aside, we have clearly some problems : I missed our first goal as I was just coming from the bar, but from what I did see our GK did a Simon Tracey-esque howler. And that can’t be good. Second goal for them was basically our defence being out-passed left, right and centre (almost literally) and to be honest I was sorely tempted to slink back to the bar and watch the England game. Yup, that bad

To be fair, despite our defence being as useful as a GCSE, we were attacking. Granted, we were getting in there but the usual accuracy (lack thereof) was going to cause a problem. Still, we did most of the running for the second half and finally their GK fucked up for our first goal. And without wishing to be smug, after we scored I did have a gut feeling that we’d come back from this. And sure enough, after increasing amounts of niggleness (topped with liberal dashings of pettyness) we equalised. Forget when and how the goal was scored, but from then on in, I knew we would do it. Honest. Sure enough, with full time approaching, JS did the honours for us, and this was considered an excuse for a mass orgy. We really did look like we could have scored a 4th (I’m referring to the game again, not the orgy). Still, we didn’t, but who cares?

Anyway, enough description about the game, here’s….

Plus points: We won. Spirited fightback. Played well attacking wise. JS having his scoring boots on. KC looking good after coming off bench.

Minus points: Defence. Goalie. Nuff zed.

The referee’s a…… : And after the relatively good performance by the MIB on Saturday, we were bought back to the usual basement levels of banality and incompetence. Actually, scrub that last description – he was fucking shite, a complete cunt, his mum and dad should be shot for producing such a worthless specimen, and the RNIB should force him to take his labrador on the pitch in future. Come to think of it, the mutt has a better grip of the rules of the game. The plea of “Open your fucking eyes ref” is a good synopsis of his so-called performance. The booking of JS for a world-class tackle sort of summed it up.

Them: No cheese rolls, thankfully. Their chairman was having an op so he wasn’t there. They basically ran out of steam, though their #7 was a niggly little arse bandit.

Quotes: (1) “I should have stated at home, there’s a George Clooney film on” – TT, when we were 2-0 down. Yes, but is Mr Clooney as adept at coming from behind as we are? On second thoughts, don’t answer that. (2) “Words cannot describe it” – half time comment by nearby bloke on his phone. (3) “11 subs coming on in a minute” – yet another half time comment, which gives you an idea of the level of desperation at this stage.

Point to ponder: Or rather, an observation. Wasn’t it funny that there was little booing at half time? Some applause as well. Polite applause granted, but still applause. As they say in an ex-colony, go figure.

Your song: Champagne Song. Few anti-MK chants. Usual over-hyped West Bank bollocks 🙂 The hardcore Athletics End did come up with the bizzare “Pub team from Gatwick” to Mertsham. Apparently, there was some cries of “poof” and “faggot” to the Mertsham keeper as well in the first half. Didn’t hear them, and not being the PC sort I don’t take that much offence to those sort of comments. It’s done purely to put the goalie off, and if anyone is still POed by the homophobic nature, just remember that the average psychologist considers gay-bashing to be a form of repressed sexuality.

Point to ponder, part deux: Are we suffering from an age-old Wimbledon problem, mainly we can raise it for the Watford/Luton/Ryman team games but go into lethargy for the Mersthams? If we have any pretence to be as good as we say we are, we really need to change our attitude. We should really be whupping teams 5-0 each week. Worst thing is, I know they’re capable of doing that. Remember, we are a big club….

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) 2-0 down and 3-2 up, do dah, do dah etc (2) The ladies team getting wolf-whistled at half time. I’m sure you can make your own comment about stiffening defences. (3) Did the Main Stand get excited TWICE last night? Obviously their thermos flasks were laced with an extra spoonful of sugar. (4) And was that the John Smiths stand making a murmur as well? Hope them and the Main Stand never have a singing contest one day, it could almost rival a Franchise game. I said “almost”… (5) Various scabs walking around with nametags to show who they are. Yes, I know it’s for security reasons, but hey, AFCW is getting more and more corporate each day (disclaimer: that last comment was a joke. I think).

Anything else? Yeah, my pen stopped working again and I ended up doing violent things to it before it eventually flowed out. Apparently, there’s a writing implement that is guaranteed to work under most conditions – it’s called a “pencil” though I don’t think it will ever catch on.

So was it worth it? It was, though whether the increased risk of heart attacks caused by such performances is worth it I have no idea.

In a nutshell: Why can’t we have an easy game next week?