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Blimey, talk about going back in time or what? Bay Area 2 South Central 3 had the old mid 80s feel about it (in more ways than one). Tough opponents, for sure, and by far and away the hardest game we have played all season. However, even today we made life a bit more difficult for ourselves than we needed to. First part of the game, we could have had a couple (I think, I could see jack shit) before the man with the highly suggestive name, one Mr Everard, leapt up (I think) to nod home (I think). They came back with some shitty defending on our part. Second half got a bit scrappy, though thanks to their goalkeeper fucking it up totally miscalculating we went 2-1 up and looking for another victiory

Then, unlike all other teams that have dared to soil our path, HB scored. And scored well. Screamer it was as well. And from then on, it was heading for a replay. We were all planning on working out when to meet up on Wednesday when we got a last minute corner. Call me smug, but I had a feeling we’d score from it. And, when Everard once again sprung into life and bulged the onion bag, we all leapt up in orgasmic pleasure. I don’t think I’ve seen so much joy since they invented Kraft cheese slices


Plus points: A win. In a difficult place. Generally went up a gear when needed. Held on well. Attacking till the last.

Minus points: Give you a clue – it’s not attack, or midfield. Or goalie. Oh, complacency?

The referee’s a…….: Well, I didn’t think he was majorly idiotic, though he did reportedly miss DO twatting one of their players.

Them: Joint top in the Kent league, and boy, did it show. They were gutted at the finish but did applaud us, which was nice. Shame we didn’t officially reach the 2k mark attendance wise. HB is a nice little place. And for once, they had a sizeable support, about 2-300 of them, with even a bit of singing thrown in. There were, however, a couple of negatives…

Womble Aggro: And as sure as night follows day, some products from a contaminated test tube decide to try their luck. Firstly – I had left the Royal Oak public house, having watched some of the rugby and with an orange juice in hand, and minutes later between 4-6 local boneheads came in and started chanting a mix of Millwall/Spurz/Chelski/MK songs, purely to start trouble (and reportedly being encouraged by the barstaff). Needless to say, red rag to bull time. Cue glass smashing and blood spilling, though in a weird sort of hoolie-type justice, it was the antagonists who were left needing some plasters and TCP

The game itself went without much incident (though the sight of one guy with tears streaming down his face and being questioned by two coppers shows all was not well), but the iffy stuff happened after the game. Firstly, one Womble got jumped upon and was looking rather reddened in the nose at the station. Reports that a couple of Burberry-clad arsewipes tried to mingle in Millwall-like with us, though without the requisite bottle. Then came the station : firstly, two local likely lads were scared away from the London bound platform a bit by about 5-6 of our lot. Then came an incident so bizzare it’s impossible to get fully what happened : basically, a local appeared to try it on, spilt a bit of crimison for his troubles then made a mercy dash across the tracks (yes, you read that right) into the arms of nice Mr Policeman and his chums, plus his over-excitable pet hounds. The train pulled up and headed back to Londinium with the minimum of aggro.

I think we’ll collectively have to stop being naive over all this : the more successful we come, the more likely these sort of occasions will happen. We’ve been generally lucky thus far, but non-league has more than its share of headcases. And while I’m fully aware that the above may sound a bit Red Issue/Brimson Bros type facts-reported-as-glorification, I personally would have prefered not to have written this. But let’s face it, we do have some nutcases of our own…..

Quotes: (1) “I love the sound system here” – Thespian Womble, obviously taking the voice projection bit of his Drama degree too seriously. (2) “BR said that about 1800 were coming down” – Orange Hun sash-wearing bastard who complains that I never quote him at all. So, here you are. Now stop complaining 🙂 (3) “Whoever scores in the next five minutes will win this game” – TBBM.

Point to ponder: Was I the only one who found that atmosphere strange today? When Everard scored the first, it was more like polite applause, as if we were expecting something bad to happen. And not just on the pitch either.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Pre-pube HB schoolgirls trying to get the HB crowd to sing a contrived chant at half time. Good luck girls, you sure as hell needed it. (2) Forgetting just how a “big” game feels like. Can you imagine what would happen if we won the damn thing? (3) The over-excitable announcer at Victoria tube station, Victoria line (southbound)

Anything else? Yeah, special mention to the AFCW/St Pauli fan who still managed to arrive at Victoria with three minutes to spare, despite leaving Hamburg very early this morning AND having no trains at Stansted…

So, was it worth it? I would guess so

In a nutshell: Let’s try to crack the vase, not smash it