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It’s all Wight


Ah, that’s much more like it. Isle of Dogs 5 Isle of Wight 0. Remember a couple of weeks ago when I said that somebody was going to be on the end of a tonking from us? Rather like Man Utd and Arsenil in the FA Cup today, we’ve come out of a pretty rocky patch and larged up the big one. Interestingly enough, we weren’t even on top form.

So, what can I say? Well, we scored after about 3 minutes with Frankie heading from a corner. Don’t ask about the second goal, for once I wasn’t in the tea bar, the actual bar or talking to somebody. Instead I was putting my cup of tea away in the blue bin, just like we’re asked to. So you can blame AFCW for that. I did see the third goal, which was scored by RB. A cracker, as they say. Hopefully Dons Online caught it, it really is stunning. Really unsure about Axel F for him still.

If you thought it couldn’t get any better, it did. It was 4-0 before half time. Great skill in the box, again by RB. And all was well.

The second half was a bit, well, dull in comparison. We only scored once, the goalie parried and Shane Smeltz, the sheepshagger New Zealand international followed up for his debut goal (yes, I know he scored the second goal for us, but I missed it so it doesn’t count). Any expectations it would be a CCL style rout were sadly dampened, though we did get a penalty. Up stepped Smeltz to surely make it a hat-trick, but the goalie made his one decent save of the day. Bastard. Didn’t stop one Womble from saying “justice done” though, somehow I think they’ve forgotten how to really watch games…. 😉

Had enough? So had Newport. So…

Plus points: Five. Without reply. Best game seen in a while. Great debut by Smeltz.

Minus points: Should have been 9-0

The referee’s a…….: Got compared to Dale Winton for some reason. Other than that, he had his moments of abject fussiness but hardly on the Anders “What’s this coming through my letterbox?” Frisk level.

Them: Dropped their trousers, bent over obediently and didn’t even complain when we’d forgotten the vaseline. Did hit the bar, bless them. Speaking of hitting the bar, two IoW fans decided they’d seen enough tits on the field and buggered off to look at the tits in the Robert Peel. All very commendable, except that this was at 3.35pm. Quite a few of theirs turned up for their big trip on the mainland. Wonder how the club funds an IoW crossing every other Saturday? Special mention to their goalie, who when trying to retrieve the ball at 5-0 down yelled to the hAE : “We’re still in this”…

Point to ponder: Only one man can really answer this, but were Smeltz, Lewis Hamilton and Joe Vines three of our intended summer signings? If so, then I’ll have to re-evaluate how I think we’ll do next season. One thing is certain, we will need to sign their likes as a minimum standard, but then you knew that already…

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Any reason why Phillo said “Oh. My. God” after RB’s third? Was he in exhasperation? (2) Smeltz’s nickname is “Vanessa”. Think about it. All we need now is for him to have a massive weight problem… (3) Speaking of which, our secretary is looking trimmer these days. Insert comment about working for AFCW and losing weight rapidly. (4) Finding out what used to happen in the Polish police force during the Warsaw Pact days when they sniffed out Russian infiltrators in their ranks. Suffice to say, it was a real shame that Hammam was from Beirut as opposed to Belarus. (5) Is it me or were there more coppers at the game today? Either they’re scouting for the 9/4 game or the Main Stand have finally got their way…

Anything else? Yeah, was it me or was it dead today? Not only that, but there were some comments about the crowd size, and how it seems to be falling. OK, this season hasn’t caught the imagination quite like last season (and certainly our first one). It’s unlikely that we’ll get close to 4k this season, despite an officially increased capacity. So why do the figures show people staying away? I keep hearing Chinese whispers about the prices rising next season to cover costs etc. Personally, I think the club should be more concerned with those staying away. As said before many times, putting prices up won’t affect the people most willing to pay them…

So, was it worth it? Yup

In a nutshell: Champions by Easter. Maybe.