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Kings of the hill

Well, I thought I wasn’t going to get any report on our Kings Lynn game, but lo and behold… see below anyway.

While I’m here updating, a few general thoughts: firstly, things seem to be ticking along nicely now at AFCW. W&H really does seem like a long time ago. It’s got to the stage where there is hardly any grumbling from various opinion formers. God help us if we actually win a game in the next month.

What’s changed? Simple – we look bothered. That first major hurdle of readjusting to being a “real” team again has now been cleared. By both fans and team. I was told that KL felt like a cup tie – which sounds strange, except when you consider just how dead W&H felt. Who knows, perhaps Fi$her will get a nice little surprise…?

Secondly, you may be interested to know that somebody from H&R is having a bit of a pop at us (it’s mentioned in the KL report as well). You can read the hysterical posteuring angry barbs here (scroll down a little bit). Now, the name sounds like a dodgy porno site, and needless to say the content is the equivalent of scat.

Why am I bothering mentioning this? Because the author isn’t doing himself many favours, and it would be fun to hand him the rope. A few things : until you can prove that it’s our fault with witness evidence, police intervention etc, making claims that :

“Hampton’s main stand was left battered and bruised after 90 minutes of abuse by travelling AFC Wimbledon thugs. Dons fans have managed to rip out sections of the wall of the stand, perhaps using something to assist them as the lines appear to be pretty clear-cut”

is likely to get you a bit of attention.

There’s more :

“the HRBFC videotapge of the match reveals the faces of two of the culprits guilty of kicking our tunnel and clipping the linesman round the ear as they walked off the pitch. AFC Wimbledon will be shown this video and our message to these scumbags is: YOU WILL BE GETTING A BAN. If the club doesn’t show the video to AFC Wimbledon, we will”.

Now, leaving aside that “scumbag” is what the Sun uses because it can’t get away with stronger language, we are of course very grateful for this videotapge. Although a couple of eye-witness reports suggest something slightly less sinister, we do have a small minority of morons following us. Par for the course for our size of support.

And AFCW has learnt from the pathetic way it tried to deflect blame at the first AFC Wallingford game (for those with short memories, it said that neither sides’ fans were to blame, contary to many eye witness accounts). How many other clubs put up on their OS a mere 24 hours after the alleged incident a Crimestoppers type appeal? Who knows, perhaps if H&R spent as much time ensuring that alcohol wasn’t taken outside, and a few more stewards were employed – to keep an eye on the mass roofing contractors, naturally – none of this would ever be necessary.

Now, no doubt this heroic Beaver will take the fight against the AFC Wimbledon thugs and bring justice and truth to all. But wait – there are links to the Football Factory. Aha, surely this guy runs with Chelski, threw seats at Lansdowne Road in 1995 and gets nods from some of the top boys at West Ham. But wait again – turns out that around 2004/05, the site was having trouble updating due to limited time. Was the site’s owner in jail for battering a mouthy Villa fan? Er, not quite :

“Work continued (very limited time due to GCSE Exams at school etc)”

So, basically, H&R’s version of the Suicide Squad is in fact of A-level student age. Doesn’t stop him making this veiled threat :

“In a just and ideal world, AFC Wimbledon would pay for the damage their lying thugs have done, but of course, it isn’t an ideal world. I wonder how they would like it if we returned the favour in April?”.

So, thanks junior. You’ll now make AFCW’s find for whoever damages the WB in April far, far easier. Hell, we know exactly who to blame for incitement at least. Free word of advice : when you write anything down in print, you are responsible for it. Trust me, I’m a journo.

Of course, I have no doubt that the Beaver Patrol will express their hardness in April by hiding behind a copper and shouting Milton Keynes at us. Just like all the other small timers. You know the sort of thing : small club, big attitude…

Oh, and needless to say, the photo of the damaged stand is broken. How odd.

And finally, I’m not at Bromley next week. It’s my birthday and I’ll be coming back from France, so I don’t want to ruin my day by hanging around Pikeyville. So, by all means, do me a report (given up trying to be nice to you). After all, you can get your work in lights as you can see below…

Bluetits 1 – Linnets 0. What a great game. Well, no. It wasn’t a great game. It was hard work. They brought a decent amount of fans (200+) for the FA Trophy 1st qualifying round. The crowd of 1700+ was small in our terms but large in the overall picture of the competition. About 1000 bigger than anyone else. [To clarify this round, its the first qualifying round. There are two more of these before we reach the 1st round proper. Then its 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, Semi1, Semi2 and final. The longevity of this competition causes many teams to not bother with it. Its just too damn long. We could end up potentially (if we had got a replay out of this round) playing 17 games. The final is the only round of note. ]

Kings Lynn had decided to try and bore us out of the cup and we in turn tried to out bore them. Most of the Kings Lynn players went down rolling around with what seemed career threatening injuries after most fouls before miraculously recovering once the physio had stuck a wet sponge down his shorts and he had reached the by-line. The number 3 even managed to get a warm applause from the main stand. Oh ye fools, he wasn’t injured. Lets boo these time wasting cheats. Sportsmanship disappeared when Mirandinha first fell over when someone sneezed.

The goal came with about 15 minutes remaining. The Tempest(uous) hardcore thought that Matty York had scored from a rarely well placed corner, but it was Frankie Howard that rose above the giants of the Kingdom of Lynn to head into the top corner. Funny really, as some fans were wondering when we last scored from a corner. Some young fool reckoned it was a year. It might well have been with the ‘cornership’ on display.

There were only a few chances from the Linnets, the most noticeable when Howard scored for them from a similar position where he scored the winning goal from. For some bizarre reason it was disallowed. After that they just tried to outdo each other with new injury rollabouts. Perhaps the casting director for Goal2 was in the stands.

Remarkably, their time wasting ended after Howard had put us 1-0 to the good. “Thank goodness” the crowd yelped. We had been so unlucky again in the game with a couple of shots being deflected and one striking the crossbar AGAIN. No replay and thank fuck we didn’t have to travel to somewhere near Norwich on a Tuesday.

Noteable performance of the day was from the new boy Dwayne Plummer. He looks to be a very cheeky signing and at times did look to be the player we’ve been missing due to Kouman and Urse being injured. He also performed a spectacular dive to get booked. Some thought it was harsh, the ref immediately produced the card, I’l give the ref the benefit. However, Plummer did get better as the game matured.

Them: 1. Their fans. A good bunch by all accounts, real genuine fans who travel. They brought ‘real fans’ rather than those day tripping twats from Walton & Hersham and Hampton & Richmond who had no idea who was playing for them and where they were. Only downside was a few choruses of “you’ve got no history”.. hardly a dreadful and wholly innaccurate song. Technically correct, I suppose. Especially if you are an AFC Wimbledon fan, but werent a WFC fan (that will happen more and more y’know.. fans will be tempted along who werent WFC supporters). But i think it was said ‘tongue-in-cheek’. Also worthy of note was that a few of them bought fanzines, so they MUST have been from a decent sort. Lets hope we get to play more clubs like them with real fans, real songs and big flags..

2. Their team. They weren’t THAT good. Some people hark about the Southern League being the better of the three ‘Premierships’ so I was expecting them to be a real challenge where we’d be lucky to win. But to be honest, We didn’t struggle against them. But I believe we haven’t been getting the results we should have got recently. They were big and their number 15 was a monster but they tried to spend most of the game on the floor. The real test will be against Fisher on Saturday.

Franchise Watch: What? is this a merchandising special to help subsidise the building of their two sided stadium that they wont own and may have to share with Premiership Luton in 2007? They didn’t win at home again. That’s always a good result but they did edge out of the bottom 4. Promotion favourites Tranmere dropped to 2nd bottom. Moral justice for those pricks when they put out a weakened side to keep the franchise scum up last season. I hope you go down and Brian Little gets sacked. For he joins the list of shame. (Brian, you might have gone up with Tranmere if you had kept the momentum.. lets hope you get relegated with them this season.)

Truth is stranger than fiction: [1] The police apparently aided the Linnets fans in putting up their monster flag. Are policemen finally returning to the good old days of aiding old ladies across the street and telling people the time or giving directions. Rather than ‘encouraging’ men with dark skin to have accidents in custody?

[2] Matty Fowler cannot head the ball. He’s shit. Just watch him. I’m not knocking his overall performances, I like him in the team over Vanessa Sveltz, but the guy did not get where he is today by impressing people with his heading.

Point to ponder: [1]We are improving and thankfully those who were being ‘bored’ by the football have fucked away to find something to watch that’s more iinteresting. I cant find anything much more interesting than following your team. Surely the quality of football is secondary to being part of a story this fucking great. I got a big kick out of DA’s programme notes. He was very emotional at how the fans treated the team after the game at H&R. In my opinion, that result wasn’t a big deal. It was seeing the players play like they wanted it. Down to 10 men yet dominating and getting more and more unlucky just proved what we as a club are all about. Yes. A CLUB. Perhaps we all need to study that ethos. Its not just something to do on a Saturday, its a CLUB. Not a football team, or a merchandising operation. A CLUB. That’s happening more and more these days, so perhaps it was teething troubles early on. But if we play like that every game personally that’s enough for me. Results will come but sometimes we will need luck.

[2] Hamster & Richwank have been wibbling about how we wrecked their precious ground. Supposedly they have footage too of our fans attacking the ref. Well, I cant answer for the attack but the ground being wrecked? Apparently asbestos cladding was smashed? And now because it is asbestos they had to close part of the stand down. Shouldn’t we be suing for exposure? I personally think its all been made up by them to squeeze some more moolah out of us. And also why didn’t the stewards stop these Womble demolition experts in their thuggish behaviour? Oh, I forgot. there weren’t any stewards. How I laughed as I stood on the terrace supping from my pint, whilst smashing my gun handle against the asbestos cladding..

[3] Why is it, that our three strikers had the “theres only one …. ….. “ sung at them. What a shit song. Its shit for Richard Butler, let alone Fowler and also the tune for “One Kiwi Womble”. Please.. any songsmiths, come forward and present songs for players!

In a nutshell: Fuck off woodwork..