Ah, that’s more like it. In the biblical rainstorm that was KM (see photo above, copyright DSF), Wimbledon 3 Chelski 1 was the kind of performance that we should really be expecting week in/out.
Was it the perfect performance? No. Will we play far better teams than W&H? Yes. Will I complain about how crap the first ten minutes were? Yes.
But on the flip side, there’s no way I’m not going to enjoy a decent enough win. Let’s not try and be uber-cool fans and pretend to ourselves that being happy after a victory is somehow wrong (as I’m starting to sense one or two people trying to be). The only thing that attitude does is make it harder to walk down the street : after all, it’s impossible to walk with your head that far up your own arse.
Speaking of sticking objects up your chutney tunnel, the first ten minutes were absolute horse cock. In that period, we managed to go 0-1 down, two of our players fell over each other while running towards their goal, and to cap it all off we even failed to take a throw in properly. Fair to say that there was more chance of Saddam Hussein needing a 2007 calendar than of us winning.
There was one reason why we got back into it though. Me. Yes, me. You see, I was responsible for us striking back ten minutes later, and our fortune was my doing. Gentlemen, you may buy me a pint of Murphys/tea next time you see me, together with a handshake of deference. Ladies, feel free to moisten your lips and invest in a set of kneepads. For it was me who said 20 seconds before SF’s first goal, “Tell you what, if we lose this I’m not going to read any guestbooks for the next week”…..
Well, all right, I wasn’t responsible. Cue ladies* cancelling their kneepad orders. But after SF’s first, it really was a case of us waking up and smelling the stewed coffee. Once we’d route one-d for SF’s second, that really was that. The third goal was nice as well.
* – and yes, I know calling our female support “ladies” is stretching it a bit. Hey, it’s still Xmas, and I’m feeling almost charitable.
It was the kind of performance you would expect us to do against shite that is second-bottom. Despite the conditions (or maybe because of) we used the floor a lot, and quite simply we cut through their defence so much it was a minor miracle how we only got three.
Of course, we won’t get promotion on this result alone, but it’s a real start. Around(ish) this time last season, we played against Windsor and Eton in one of the worst matches I can ever remember seeing. It was so bad that the club could have been sued under the Trades Descriptions Act (it sure as hell wasn’t football). Today could have been similar but thankfully it wasn’t. By the end of the next home game we’ll know where we stand this season, and more importantly where we’re heading. But for now, grab an alcoholic beverage and allow just a little wry smile to yourself.
Though whether you’ll smile at all when reading the following is anyone’s guess….
Plus points: We won. Pretty solid after 10 minutes. Scott Fitzgerald. Coping with the conditions well. Possible banana skin expertly disposed of.
Minus points: First 10 minutes. Going 1-0 down. Defence still shits me up.
The referee’s a……: Nobody has mentioned him at all, and I can’t really even call him a tosser.
Them: Their cup final and they lost it. In fact, after we scored they looked like the lowly team their league position suggests, which does at least make up for all those other times that they went 300% above their usual standard. Even better, their supporters must have had a gloriously shit day : their main team drew 2-2 with Fulham and are now 6 points behind Big United, and they got wet as well. Cue posts about how loyal they are and how we’re really AFC Norbiton. Enjoy Ryman One, spunkstain features. Oh, and their #8 rolled around like he’d been injured, yet in doing so banged his knee and was properly crocked. No further comment necessary.
Point to ponder: Struggling a bit with this one, so I’ll simply ask this : when was the last time we played well in front of a crowd of over 2500? 2808 was surprisingly big, and was the largest turnout all season, but we still have yet to break the psychological barrier of 3000. And last time we did that was in April….
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The sky seemed to change colour about 12 times during the game. (2) Come to think of it, wasn’t that typical footballing weather in December? Minus the Xmas rendition of Noah’s Ark, obviously. (3) “Wombling Merry Xmas” played over the PA at the end of the game. Don’t tell me Lizzie B is letting us use other bits of Wombles ® merchandise apart from the furry nosed thingy.
Anything else? Yeah. I caught the sight of some well spoken gentleman (obviously a Main Stander) giving the coppers some grief after the game, waving his brolly about etc and complaining about “how rude” one copper was. Really don’t know what that was about, presumably the copper told him to put down his Daily Telegraph during the game. Anyone in the know care to expand?
So, was it worth it? Yes, if only to see nature in full force. Honestly, people talk about global warming as though it’s a bad thing.
In a nutshell: Now for Bromley…